


The Lawyer and the Accountant

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: The Designer and the Actor [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Gabriel, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Kansas, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, New York City, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:46:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22090543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: “Pssst,” Dumah hisses.Gabriel furrows his brows and turns around in his ergonomic chair.  He notes Dumah’s leaned-over position on her chair, meant to encourage silence and secrecy.He leans over and hisses, “what?”“Sam Winchester is on my work phone for you.”/Sequel to “The Designer and the Actor.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Past Gabriel/OC, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester - Relationship
Series: The Designer and the Actor [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1214397
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101





	1. Let’s Play A Game

**Author's Note:**

> To celebrate the first anniversary of “The Designer and the Actor,” here’s a ten-part Sabriel AU fic set several years after Destiel’s wedding.

Dumah uses her rolling chair to cross the vast expanse of cubicles between them. She receives looks from nearly every confused coworker glancing over their shoulder from their computer.

She pays them no mind and halts her sitting roll when she reaches Gabriel’s cubicle.

“Pssst,” Dumah hisses.

Gabriel furrows his brows and turns around in his ergonomic chair. He notes Dumah’s leaned-over position on her chair, meant to encourage silence and secrecy.

He leans over and hisses, “what?”

“Sam Winchester is on my work phone for you.”

Gabriel blinks. “What?” 

“Come on,” Dumah whispers with a hand motion towards her cubicle.

Gabriel falls into a crouch, leaving his chair. His boss adores silence unless they are crunching numbers or on a business call. They have to be careful sneaking around.

Dumah uses her feet to roll her chair backwards, and Gabriel practically spider-crawls down the hallway. Coworkers send Dumah looks, but do not notice Gabriel’s silent footsteps. He has that ability due to raising his daughter, Charlotte. She always cried as a baby when she thought Gabriel was leaving her crib space.

Now that she is officially a teenager, though, Charlotte is the one sneaking around the apartment.

When they reach Dumah’s cubicle, she falls to a crouch while Gabriel sits in her chair.

Gabriel observes the blinking light on her work phone and wonders aloud, “this doesn’t make any sense.”

Dumah shakes her head in exasperation. “Answer it!”

Gabriel removes the phone from its cradle and says with a dry mouth, “hi, Sam.”

“Hi,” Sam says, uncharacteristically cheerful, “I hope I’m not bothering you at work.”

“N-no. No. You’re fine,” Gabriel says awkwardly.

He thinks about the first time they met, five years ago at Dean and Cas’s wedding. His little brother, the famous fashion designer Castiel Novak, had married the man of Hollywood’s dreams, out-and-proud action star Dean Winchester. They announced several weeks ago that their adopted twin daughters, Rose and Violet, were doing well under their doting care in Los Angeles.

Gabriel, though, had not spoken to the gorgeous Kansas lawyer Sam Winchester since meeting him at the wedding reception. Gabriel stupidly called him a bodybuilder and blushed as easily as a virgin, blaming it on the single watered-down cocktail he drank.

Besides, Charlotte wanting to dance with him distracted Gabriel from making a complete fool of himself. 

“It’s just...I know we don’t talk,” Sam says, “but um, I got a job opportunity in New York City. I’m going to take it.”

A part of Gabriel squealed in happiness. He would finally get to smooth over the awkwardness with Sam from when they met!

But the other part of him was full of dread. He would get to see Sam, possibly often.

Was he ready for that? Could he control himself and not say anything else weird?

“I know how out of the blue this is,” Sam says, a tinge of his Kansas accent in his voice, “but I thought...I haven’t really seen the world. New York could be...fun, right?”

Gabriel’s heart was in his throat. His reply is reedy. “Yeah. Yeah, it would be cool for you.”

Cool for you? This is not going well.

“I already got the go-ahead from my uncle and mom, which was...unexpected. My law office is all ready for me to transfer. Dean doesn’t know yet, but I really think...I should do this.” Sam sounds unsure. “I’m trying not to freak out about it. Heh.”

Oh my God. Is Sam more awkward than Gabriel thought?

God, that’s wonderful.

“So, what do you think? Could you help me out when I get there?” Sam asks hesitantly.

Gabriel purses his lips. A cute guy was asking him for a tour of his city. 

He reminds himself that Sam Winchester is his in-law. His six-years-younger-than-him in-law.

He imagines slapping himself to get it together.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Gabriel says lightly, “I’m a busy man.”

“Alright. That means a lot. Thank you.” A beat. “Guess we’ll finally get to know each other, huh?”

“Heh.” Gabriel smiles nervously. “Right. Yeah.”

“Oh!” Sam remembers, “can I have your number? So we can text and talk about everything?”

A cute guy is asking for his number. Fuck.

His in-law. His cute in-law. But still his in-law.

He wants to slap himself hard.

“O-okay,” Gabriel stammers. He rattles off his smartphone number before he can overthink it. 

Sam sends him his own number in return, then says, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

Gabriel sets the work phone back in the cradle. He slowly tips his forehead on the desk, murmuring to himself, “oh my God.”

There is a tap on his shoulder. “Boss is coming.”

Gabriel remembers Dumah’s presence a pace behind him. He snaps his head up, wide eyes on her inquiring gaze.

Gabriel mouths ‘tell you later’ and crawls back to his cubicle before their boss can notice his absence.

————

Gabriel and Dumah are on one of the first elevators to descend the skyscraper at the end of their work shift. They pack into the claustrophobic space and wait until reaching the sidewalk to speak.

“So,” Dumah says as they walk to the apartment building together, “what in the world did Sam Winchester want?”

Gabriel replies incredulously, “he’s going to move to New York.”

Dumah’s wavy black hair whips around her brown face. Dark eyes are blown wide. “What?!”

“Yup,” Gabriel says as they round a city block, “I’m absolutely done for.”

“Done for?” Dumah’s voice tinges in puzzlement. “Are you thinking about that time you said you flirted with him on accident?” She made a ‘psh’ sound. “I’m sure he doesn’t even remember that. You’re totally fine.”

“The fact that you remember,” Gabriel sighs, “doesn’t look good for me.”

They make it to a crosswalk on time, and they dash across to their apartment building. Gabriel holds the door open for Dumah, since he’s a gentleman, and she presses the elevator button.

“Don’t even think about it,” Dumah says. “Let him come to you, alright? You have plenty to worry about.”

Gabriel presses his lips together and listens to the elevator ding as it opens. They enter the screeching metal box, and Dumah presses the third floor button. Gabriel muses, while the elevator moves, how each floor level is an indication of wealth. This is a twenty-floor building. The poorest are on the ground floor, the richest are at the top.

And he is on level three.

The elevator door opens slowly on their floor, and Dumah fishes for apartment keys as they walk. Their apartment door is in the corner of the hallway, on the left side. The most walking in the vicinity.

Dumah unlocks the apartment door and calls inside, “we’re home. You better be cooking, Saman!”

Gabriel closes the door and catches sight of Samandriel to the right, stirring a boiling pot on the kitchen stove. 

“I sure am,” Samandriel chimes as Dumah sets down her purse beside Hannah’s. “Ten minutes until spaghetti time.”

Gabriel advances to the adjoining room and calls out, “Charlotte? Hannah?”

He hears giggles from Charlotte’s room, and he pushes the ajar door open.

Hannah, his childhood friend and independent journalist slash blogger, was putting makeup on his daughter’s face.

Charlotte is thirteen years old. Seeing her in pink eyeshadow should not shock him, but it does.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asks dumbly.

Wavy golden hair turns in his direction, and she smiles brightly despite her pale pallor.

“I’m trying eyeshadow, Dad,” Charlotte chuckles.

Hannah caps the makeup and studies Gabriel, her own face covered in thick mascara. “What do you think,” Hannah prompts, adding an edge to the word, “Dad?”

Gabriel forces a smile and says lightly, “pink is your color, Char.”

Since Charlotte is often drowning in early teenage angst, seeing her vaguely happy reminds Gabriel to cherish the moment.

Charlotte smiles wanly. “That’s what Hannah said!”

Gabriel clears his throat. “Saman is making your favorite. Wash up, okay?”

Charlotte pouts like she did as a little girl wearing ballet slippers and tutus. “But I don’t want to take it off.”

Gabriel acquiesces. “After dinner, then. Now wash your hands.”

Charlotte rises to her feet and grins as she goes to the bathroom. Hannah rearranges her makeup collection and does not meet Gabriel’s eyes.

Hannah packs the makeup away, and murmurs, “she looks more and more like Iris every day.”

The name of his wife has Gabriel staring at a spot on Charlotte’s pink carpet.

That is a box best left closed. She died eleven years ago, and he had healed, but she couldn’t be brought up in casual conversation.

‘Hey, remember how Iris died of cancer when Charlotte was two?’

As if he could forget. He spared a thought for her every day; it was the least he could do for the first love of his life.

First, and probably the last.

Charlotte was beginning to look like her mother, now that puberty had begun its terrible cycle. Gabriel is incredibly conflicted about it.

Hannah rises from her position on the pink carpet, and she meets Gabriel’s eyes. “Is something the matter?”

Gabriel thinks of Sam in a quick flash, and he mumbles, “I’ll tell you later.”

He never keeps secrets from his family, blood relation or no.

Charlotte glides out of the bathroom, and Samandriel calls them all to dinner.

————

Since Charlotte has ballet practice the next day, she goes to bed early. When the four adults are left in the apartment with the television on low, Hannah brings it up.

“Gabe has something to tell us,” Hannah says from her chair, closing the laptop where she writes her blog posts. The interview she conducted about Dean and Cas’s relationship is still her most popular posting.

Samandriel and Dumah turn away from the baseball game on television.

Hannah catches Dumah staring for an extra beat, and observes keenly, “you know already?”

Dumah is silent, waiting for Gabriel to speak.

So Gabriel says, “I got a call from Sam Winchester. He’s moving to New York and asked for a tour.”

Samandriel cocks his head to the side. “Really? That’s random.”

“Why were you hesitant about that?” Hannah inquires. “It’s just your in-law moving to the city.”

Dumah stares pointedly at Gabriel. She is the only one he ever told about The Wedding Incident.

“What?” Samandriel’s eyes widened. “Did something happen?”

Gabriel glances down, lashes shading his vision, and murmurs, “I may or may not have flirted with him at Dean and Cas’s wedding.”

“So?” Hannah says nonchalantly, shrugging at a loss. “I don’t see a problem.”

But Samandriel does. “Is this...is this about,” he turns to Gabriel on the opposite couch cushion, “your vow of celibacy?”

“Fucking what?” Hannah blurted. “Vow of what?”

Gabriel blushes a little in embarrassment, shifting on the cushion. He cannot look at the women as he explains, “I vowed not to pursue anyone until Charlotte was grown up.”

“Uh,” Hannah blinks, “Charlotte Novak is thirteen years old. She’s growing up faster than you think. I mean...remember when she was obsessed with Cas? How much she loved him when she was little?”

“Rich uncle syndrome,” Gabriel mutters.

Hannah continues, “at age seven, Char not only allowed Cas to move across the country with no tears, but she allowed Cas to marry Dean.”

“Because she wanted another rich uncle,” Gabriel says to himself.

“Gabe,” Hannah says curtly, “Char is a strong girl who is becoming a young woman. I would consider that to be pretty grown up, don’t you?”

Gabriel frowns deeply, staring at loose threads in the couch cushion. “I promised myself never again. Not even flirting. Never again.”

“So that’s what this is about,” Dumah realizes. “I thought you were finally getting better.”

“I am better,” Gabriel insists. “That has nothing to do with-”

“Being too chickenshit to put your heart out on a line?”

Gabriel stares wide-eyed at Samandriel. He has never heard Samandriel talk like that before. Not in all the years they had been best friends.

Samandriel says harshly, “if you like someone, take a chance and do it. That’s how you got Char.”

Gabriel is immediately ready with, “but Char-”

“Do it, Gabriel Novak,” Samandriel says non-negotiably. “Do you want to be happy again?”

Gabriel blinks down, his vision blurring. “You all make me happy. Char makes me very happy.”

“Not the kind of happy you were with her,” Samandriel whispers.

Even without voicing Iris’s name, the weight of her presence in the room has Gabriel’s air supply cut off abruptly.

He glances at the ceiling light, at the crack in the wall, a leak waiting to happen. 

And he swears the light shifts towards the crack, as if a heavenly spirit was crawling out of it. A ghost peeking through a veil. A dove punching a hole in the clouds.

‘It’s okay,’ she says.

Move on. That’s what she wants.

Eleven years of honoring Iris Novak is enough for her.

It is enough for him too.

Gabriel looks down from the crack in the ceiling, formulating a new vow in his mind. A vow that he will never speak aloud.

“Okay,” Gabriel declares. “Let’s play a game.”

Samandriel smiles.


	2. Call Your Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel’s heart is hammering in his chest.
> 
> Why did he agree to pick up Sam at the airport?
> 
> They had been texting for an entire month. Every day. For four entire weeks. Calls on the weekends.
> 
> Gabriel had yet to embarrass himself via text. It was a goddamn miracle, honestly.

Gabriel’s heart is hammering in his chest.

Why did he agree to pick up Sam at the airport?

They had been texting for an entire month. Every day. For four entire weeks. Calls on the weekends.

Gabriel had yet to embarrass himself via text. It was a goddamn miracle, honestly.

They mostly talked about living arrangements. Sam’s new law firm was a cushy one, and bought him an apartment a block away from Gabriel’s own. It was a ritzy building, with thirty floors and mostly bought by the elite.

Sam is on the third floor.

Gabriel has to stifle a laugh when those words flash on his smartphone screen during a lunch break. Dumah sent him a look as they waited at a salad bar line, but rolled her eyes and smiled.

They also talked about places Gabriel could take him as a tour guide. It would take weeks and weeks of effort, but Gabriel figured Charlotte would benefit from school breaks too. His family deserved to go on fun outings.

Sam even laughs at Gabriel’s awkward dad jokes. That made him feel a little better about himself.

Now the day has finally come. Sam’s plane just landed, and Gabriel was waiting by the terminal. Samandriel, Hannah, and Dumah were watching Charlotte for the night. Gabriel sternly told them that his thirteen-year-old daughter better not still be awake by the time he returned.

The terminal unloaded with tired passengers after a layover. Families looked ready to crash out on the floor after nearly a whole day confined.

Amongst the rushing crowds, Sam is impossible to miss. His hair is longer than Gabriel remembers, a silky light brown that almost reaches his shoulders. His pants and tee accentuate muscles that Gabriel does not linger on past a fleeting beat of appreciation.

As Sam advances, catching sight of him, Gabriel quips, “I forgot how tall you are.”

The chaos around the terminal melts, and Sam is standing a foot away. His head tips down as he smiles at Gabriel, whose heartbeat is finally slowing.

“I forgot how short you are,” Sam counters, tone tingeing with more humor than he had gotten out of the lawyer since they began talking on the phone.

Gabriel looks up at Sam with an easy smile, and replies, “alright, I’ll consider that fair play.”

Sam’s carry-on bag hangs from his hand. A flash of uncertainty flashes across his hazel eyes, but it is dismissed with a throat clear.

Is Gabriel staring a little too much? Shit.

Actually, no. He does not care.

Gabriel leads Sam away from the terminal and towards the baggage claim. “Still a little uneasy?”

Sam hums in a form of honest agreement.

“It’s going to be a big adjustment,” Gabriel says. “I can’t imagine being in your place. But that’s because I didn’t have the option.” He shrugs.

Since the walk is long, Sam asks, “how old is Charlotte now?”

“Thirteen.”

“Yikes.”

Gabriel sends Sam a grin preceding a loud laugh. “You’ve got that right.”

“I remember shooting up like a beanstalk at thirteen,” Sam says, his Kansas accent prominent. “I was pretty thin too.”

Gabriel arches a brow. “You were lanky?”

“For a couple years, yeah.”

“Still better than not growing at all,” Gabriel counters.

Sam laughs, a short bark there and gone. His topic change is abrupt. “Have you heard from Cas at all? Dean hasn’t called me in a while.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gabriel says knowingly, “for that first year, babies take up all of your time. And they have two of them!”

That seems to alleviate Sam’s worry on that front. “Alright,” he sighs.

There is a pause as they reach baggage claim. The suitcases are not there yet, still being loaded by the crew.

Something else is on Sam’s mind. Gabriel does not know how he knows with such clarity and certainty.

Gabriel glances up at Sam, at the sharp jawline that can cut glass, and freezes.

“Wait,” Gabriel says, “did you tell Dean that you’re moving here?”

Sam’s jaw jumps, and mutters, “it’s not for lack of trying. He isn’t returning calls.”

Gabriel frowns. “That is strange. Hm.” He decides, “I’ll try Cas tomorrow.”

“Yeah?” Sam’s eyes shine with hope. “You’d do that?”

Gabriel looks away a little so he isn’t blinded. “I mean...if it is like you say, I’ll definitely put an end to the bullshit. No doubt. Family’s important.”

The sound of the oval conveyor belt spitting out suitcases nearly drowns out Sam’s soft “thank you.”

Sam picks up two suitcases, his entire life in three bags, with such ease that Gabriel flounders to be useful. He takes the carry-on bag from Sam and waddles like a penguin due to the weight of it.

Gabriel needs to adjust for how truly tall Sam is; he can’t crane his neck forever.

They exit the airport and observe the line of dormant taxis. 

Gabriel grins up at Sam. “Here’s a lesson: how to hail a cab.”

Sam smiles and listens so intently that Gabriel’s cheeks burn.

Gabriel swallows thickly and explains, “your whistle has to be sharp and so loud that it can shatter an eardrum. The amount of noise in the city makes it a Herculean task, indeed. Prepare your ears.”

Gabriel whistles, and Sam jolts back a step at the air-splitting sound.

A taxi honks the horn, and Gabriel grins as he spots its headlights glaring. “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of practice.”

Sam smiles down at him amusedly and wheels his suitcases towards the taxi. Gabriel shoulders the carry-on and directs them to the cab.

Gabriel puts on his strongest New York accent so the cab driver will be friendlier. He tells him the building where Sam lives, and the driver raises an impressed eyebrow. Gabriel laughs in agreement and the driver takes them to the fancy apartment building. Sam soaks in the surroundings, even though the city is dimly lit in the darkness.

When they get out with the bags — Sam  
insisting on paying the driver — and Sam looks up, he says, “holy shit.”

Gabriel chuckles at his incredulous face. “Yup. Your building is a good one.”

“I can’t even see the top,” Sam exhales, a little starstruck.

“They go up to the clouds sometimes,” Gabriel chimes, unable to think of the last time he looked at New York the way Sam did right now.

Sam is stuck for a moment, squinting his eyes up at the night sky. “There’s no stars.”

Gabriel tries to imagine living in a small town where the stars shine bright every single night, but he cannot formulate an image.

“Ah,” Gabriel muses, “that’s pollution for ya.”

Sam hums and breaks from his trance abruptly.

Gabriel says, “let’s go inside.”

They cart suitcases into the building, the doorman giving them a nod. The lobby is the epitome of wealth, patterned marble tiles and a chandelier the centerpieces to a neat and tidy space. A woman at the front desk is on a call and pays them no mind.

“Room number?”

“Uh,” Sam recalls, absorbing the cleanliness of the lobby, “three-oh-five.”

Gabriel parrots it back to himself and guides them to the elevator. They wait for the golden doors to open and close behind them. Sam’s jaw jumps again, which Gabriel recognizes as a nervous tick.

The door is unlocked for them, and Sam flicks on the lights.

Gabriel’s mouth falls open. “Wow.”

“Gosh,” Sam says, closing the door and setting down bags, “this is nicer than the whole of Lebanon.”

“You must be a really good lawyer,” Gabriel concludes. “Would you consider yourself a good lawyer?”

“I mean,” Sam walks around the already-furnished living space, “I didn’t think I was that good.”

“You’re humble.” Gabriel nods in some form of approval. “That’s good.”

Sam looks out the vast panoramic window, lights glittering like diamonds in a deep dark cave. “I can’t believe I did it.” His voice is wistful. “I got out of Kansas.”

There is something meaningful here for Sam, but for the life of him, Gabriel cannot hazard a guess as to what it is.

Sam turns away from the window, his eyes bright. “Thanks for helping tonight.”

When is the last time Gabriel has been looked at this way? With genuine appreciation and gratitude?

Sam Winchester is going to be the end of him.

Gabriel smiles, because he doesn’t know what else to do. “It’s not a problem. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Sam smiles back, “okay.”

As Gabriel leaves the apartment, Sam’s kind smile imprints on the back of his eyelids.

————

Gabriel lingers in the doorway of Charlotte’s bedroom. He sighs and says, “I know you’re awake.”

“No I’m not.”

Gabriel can’t help but smile. “I’m not mad that you stayed up.”

He walked inside the apartment a moment earlier and read immensely guilty expressions. Expecting him to scold them, Samandriel, Hannah, and Dumah were paralyzed when he chose not to.

Samandriel, in particular, noticed Gabriel’s decent — rather than grumpy — mood. His eyes mentioned Sam without speaking aloud, and Gabriel turned away from his best friend’s scrutiny.

Charlotte sits up in her bed, dirty blonde hair stringy and tangled. Her blue eyes glitter in the darkness. “Are you lying to catch me off guard?”

Gabriel’s chuckles fall from his loose grin. “No, Char. I’ll allow it this time.” He crosses his arms and points a finger at her. He adds sternly, “don’t get used to my lenience.”

Charlotte adjusts so her long hair moves behind her shoulders, framing a light pink tee. “Is that guy Sam here?”

“In New York?” Sam’s smile returns in Gabriel’s mind, lingering for a few beats. “Yes.”

Gabriel swears he sees Charlotte smile. But that would be ridiculous. She doesn’t know anything about them. If Gabriel and Sam could even be considered a ‘them.’

“What’s he like?”

Gabriel blinks at the unexpected question. “Nice.”

Charlotte arches an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

How his thirteen-year-old daughter could read him so well, Gabriel has no idea.

He says, “good night.”

Charlotte scoffs. “Your avoidance technique can only be used once.”

Gabriel closes the door, leaving a sliver of light to cast across the floor. He hears Charlotte rustle back under the covers, her head plopping on the pillowcase.

He’s so done for.

————

It takes a long time for Cas to answer the FaceTime call.

When he finally does, he is sitting at a table, the house a mess around him. His eyes are practically still closed, exhaustion plaguing his normally-handsome features.

“Mmph,” Cas says. “Hi, Gabe.”

“Cassie,” concern reaches Gabriel’s voice, “are you getting enough sleep?”

“No,” Cas replies tiredly, yawning for a long beat. “I don’t know how you did this by yourself, Gabe.”

“You both wanted to adopt twins,” Gabriel says amusedly.

Cas pulls a pouting face. “Why’d you let us do it, then? Fuck you.”

Gabriel laughs as Cas wipes his eyes with his hands. He blinks several times to regain a shred of coherence.

“Is Dean there?” Gabriel asks. “I need to pass on a message.”

“Hm?” Dean’s bearded face stands behind Cas’s shoulder. His lashes hang low on his cheeks, and in fact, he looks far more exhausted than Cas. “Did ya say my name?” 

He blinks and suddenly stares at Cas. His face softens and his eyes melt.

“You look beautiful this mornin’,” Dean mumbles, placing his chin on Cas’s shoulder and kissing his stubble jawline. Cas bathes in the affection and turns his mouth towards Dean. Their lips catch, and Dean hums happily as Cas scratches his thick beard.

“Did you seriously forget I’m here?” Gabriel cuts in amusedly.

Dean pries his lips from Cas. “Get a room,” he murmurs.

“Dean,” Gabriel says seriously, “call your brother. He has news.”

The mention of Sam has Dean’s eyes wide with concern. Cas is forgotten as he asks frantically, “is something wrong with him? What happened?”

“Call your brother. He has news,” Gabriel repeats. “I’ll talk to you another time, Cassie.”

He ends the FaceTime call abruptly, but doesn’t hate himself for doing it. Cas and Dean may be busy and famous, but the least they can do is check up on family.

Gabriel is the first one awake in the apartment, so he goes to the kitchen and begins breakfast.


	3. I’ll Try For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam barely sleeps in his new apartment.
> 
> He expected that, anyway. New place. New state. New surroundings.

Sam barely sleeps in his new apartment.

He expected that, anyway. New place. New state. New surroundings.

His bed is so large that he sinks right into it. Getting out of it is like climbing out of a deep pit. Since it is comfortable, though, he figures he can handle it until he buys necessities.

It is Saturday morning. The time change leaves him disoriented. Tired but not at the same time.

He turns on his charged smartphone and dials his mother.

Mary picks up on the first ring. “Sam! Did everything go alright?”

Sam hums in affirmation. “I crashed out after I got in.”

“Did Gabriel pick you up?” Mary asks in her concerned mother voice.

Sam flushes at the mention of his name. “Yes. He’s going to take me around today.”

Even after five years, Sam never forgot when he met Gabriel at Dean and Cas’s wedding reception. He never forgot Gabriel calling him a bodybuilder and blushing with a cocktail in his hand. It was endearing, and not much has changed on that front.

“Is your apartment okay?” Mary asks, Sam wandering into the living space.

Sam pulls back the panoramic window curtain, and nearly gasps at the sight of skyscrapers reflecting the mid-morning sun. “Better than I thought,” he replies.

“I’m glad everything went well.” Mary adds cheerily, “look at you, out in the big city. I think you’re going to like it!”

“We’ll see how my job goes, Mom,” Sam says, refusing to get his hopes up that his leap of faith would work out.

He still has no idea what possessed him to do this! Leave home and Kansas behind!

“Have fun today, honey,” Mary says supportively. “And call that crotchety old man. He worries.”

“Alright, Mom. Bye.”

Sam hears his mother’s ‘I love you’ and dials his uncle Bobby.

He picks up instantly as well. “Would it kill ya to call an old man?”

“I got in late,” Sam says, “and fell asleep. Sorry, Bobby. All the Kansas apologies to ya.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s morning there, huh?”

“It’s just an hour time change,” Sam says, “don’t even worry about it. Call anytime, unless I’m at work.”

“Good luck, kid. Now, listen here,” Bobby pauses, “never forget who you are. Understand?”

Sam nods, and he swears Bobby sees him. “Yes, sir.”

Sam ends the call with Bobby. For a moment, his finger hovers over Dean’s name.

He does not press it, but his phone rings anyway.

It is Dean. He requests a FaceTime call.

Sam’s eyes widen, and he stares out the window. The skyscraper across from his is made entirely of thick glass. Orange and yellow rays of sunlight bounce off it, creating a strange wave effect.

He marvels at the sight and holds the phone up to his face. Dean won’t recognize the background as being Sam’s new home.

Sam presses the answer button, satisfied for making his older brother sweat for a few rings.

Sam nearly says something to tease Dean’s beard, but Dean’s exhausted expression stops him.

Instead, he decides to jibe, “I didn’t think you knew how to use FaceTime.”

Dean makes a good-natured grumbling noise. “I thought something might be wrong with you.”

Sam furrows his brows. “Wrong with me?”

“The way Gabe made it sound…” Dean trails off, seemingly forgetting his train of thought.

“Dean?” Sam asks concernedly. “Do babies really drain that much outta you?”

“Man,” Dean scrubs his beard with his hand, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again, “you have no fucking idea.”

“Dean,” Cas’s voice filters through the screen, “what did I say about swearing near the children?”

Dean murmurs, “sorry, babe.”

This is followed by gurgling baby noises. Dean pries himself away from the breakfast horror show in the kitchen. Sam does not miss the sweep of affection in Dean’s gaze towards Cas and the twins before finding some quiet in the living room.

The background changes to a nondescript wall behind a messy couch.

Dean says, “okay, what’s going on?”

Sam grins, and he spins with the phone in his hand. The skyscraper behind the window is now in the background. “You’re not gonna believe where I am.”

Dean squints, staring off to the side, where the skyscraper illuminated the frame. “Uh...um.”

Sam snorts. “Come on.”

Dean looks harder, and he blinks incredulously at Sam. “That’s...that’s New York. That’s,” he pauses dumbly, “you’re in New York.”

Sam grins radiantly as the news truly sinks in.

Dean leaps from the couch. “You’re in New York!” He stays in a strange crouch on the cushion, eyes blown wide awake. “Oh my God! You’re in New York!”

Sam laughs at his older brother’s face. “And you said I’d never get outta Kansas! Screw you, buddy!” He practically cackles as he throws his head back. “I’m a big wig now!”

“Holy shit!” Dean is gleeful, new life entering his tired body. “This is so awesome, Sammy! I’m so goddamn proud of you!”

“I’m hearing exclamations,” Cas says, entering the frame. He eyes Dean critically and orders, “I’ll take it from here.”

Dean, to Sam’s surprise, laughs joyfully at his husband, tipping his head up. “The kid I helped raise did good for himself.”

“Now you have to do it two more times,” Cas says bitingly, Sam stifling his own laughter at the expected quip. Cas smacks Dean with a tea towel and decides, “switch off.”

Dean mock scowls, then uses his free hand to caress Cas’s stubble in place of a kiss. He hands the phone to Cas and calls out, “talk to ya later, Sammy.”

Cas sits and sighs, “I just wanted to rest for a minute.”

Sam barks out a laugh.

“So,” Cas asks, “what news did you have?”

Sam pointed the camera to the skyscraper outside the apartment building.

He brings the screen back to his face and hears, “oh my God! You’re in my city!” Cas says something like an exclamation in Italian.

Sam wonders if Gabriel can speak Italian too, and what he can do to get Gabriel to speak it.

“Did you get a job there?” Cas asks incredulously.

“I did,” Sam replies proudly. “They even gave me a nice apartment.”

“I’m happy for you,” Cas says honestly.

There is a sound of crying, and Cas sighs deeply. 

“This is why I’m the more responsible one,” Cas says, rising from the couch. As he walks, he chimes, “it was good to hear from you. I’m sure Dean will want to hear more soon.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Cas ends the FaceTime video call, and Sam’s apartment is filled with silence.

He decides to shower and dress. It is the season between summer and autumn, so he chooses jeans and a tee to wear.

He is about to wonder what to eat when there is a knock on the front door.

Sam’s heart pounds, because he knows it can only be one person.

He tugs open the door and takes in Gabriel. He is wearing a copper button-up and well-worn jeans. His hair, which Sam recalled being longer years ago, was shorn to his jawline, sharpening his facial structure. Blonde tones peeked out amongst the light brown strands, matching the golden brown of his eyes.

Sam has never seen eyes like Gabriel’s before.

Upon glancing down, Sam narrows his eyes at Gabriel’s shoes.

Is he...taller today?

As if hearing the question, a grin lights up Gabriel’s face. He pulls on his pant leg slightly, revealing-

Sam bursts into laughter. “Are those,” he sputters, “platform boots?”

“You bet!” Gabriel exclaims proudly, smoothing out his pant leg. “I didn’t feel like craning my neck.”

Sam laughs and laughs, nearly falling away from the doorframe. He hasn’t laughed this much in a long time. A very long time.

“Are ya gonna be done anytime soon?” Gabriel asks amusedly, shameless about wearing a type of shoe made primarily for women.

Didn’t he live with women?

That makes sense, then.

Sam recovers from his laughing fit at last, saying, “who did you take those from?”

Gabriel pauses in careful consideration, then answers, “Hannah.”

Sam furrows his brows. To be honest, he does not recall much about Cas’s family. He only remembers Gabriel and his daughter, Charlotte.

Gabriel sees the confusion and explains, “she’s a childhood friend.”

Sam manages a “cool” before saying, “I haven’t eaten yet. Where should we go?”

Gabriel smiles mischievously.

————

“Is there such a thing as a vegetable in this city?” Sam inquires after eating the fattiest meal in years.

Gabriel leans back in his chair and laughs. “Oh,” his eyes gleam at the information, “you’re one of those health nuts, huh?”

Sam flushes behind sipping a glass of water. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“That means you are,” Gabriel says amusedly. “I should’ve guessed. You had to bulk up from your lanky teen status somehow, right?”

“Heh.” Sam set the glass down. “My question still stands. Are there fruits and vegetables in this city?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gabriel waves a hand. “Plenty of healthy shit now that hipsters and yoga instructors are migrating around.”

Sam chuckles; Gabriel is the funniest person he’s ever met, no competition. “I cut you off when you mentioned your family earlier. Can you remind me about everyone?”

“It’s a crazy family,” Gabriel warns, “I get it.” He launches into a brief explanation. “Besides my daughter and me, there’s Saman, Hannah, and Dumah. Saman is basically a stay-at-home dad. He takes care of everybody. One of the best cooks in Manhattan. We’ve been friends since we were kids.” 

A particularly loud cab’s horn screeches a block away. Sam’s SPD does not flare up; he has not batted an eye since Gabriel started speaking.

Gabriel does not notice the noise. “Then there’s Hannah. Known her just as long as I’ve known Saman. She’s a freelance journalist that runs her own blog. And she helps out a lot with Charlotte, so my daughter looks up to her.” He shrugs. “I’m just glad she has a mother figure.”

Sam adds, “and you can steal her platform shoes.”

Gabriel hums. “Dumah works with me at the office. She makes it not so boring there. And around the holidays, we usually have Charlie, Meg, and Balthazar. You know Charlie as Cas’s business partner,” Sam nods, “and Balthazar usually models for Cas’s fashion shows. Only one you might not remember is Meg, who went to fashion school with Cas and is now a wardrobe designer in Hollywood. She’s done some of Dean’s movies, so the two get along in,” Gabriel pauses in contemplation, “possibly the strangest way ever.” Gabriel smiles at a memory that Sam wishes he were privy to. “So that’s everybody excluding Cas.” He clears his throat awkwardly. “How’s your family doing?”

Sam blinks at the genuine interest in Gabriel’s tone. “Uh, okay. I’m surprised my mom and uncle let me move here,” he blushes, blaming it on a flash of heat from the sun, “because it’s pretty weird of me to do.”

“Take a leap?” Gabriel smiles. “Oh, I can tell.”

Sam laughs to detract from his blush. “Kansas is very different.”

“I’ll bet,” Gabriel says. “What are some differences?”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “You really wanna know about Kansas?”

“Mhm.” Gabriel’s eyes shine with honesty and curiosity.

Sam hesitantly goes off on several tangents for so long that the waiter starts giving them looks to vacate their outdoor table. Gabriel does not interrupt him once as they walk down the block.

A warm feeling settles in Sam’s chest and stays there for the entire afternoon, as Gabriel points out this or that historic monument from this era when this happened.

Gabriel drags Sam to the apartment for dinner. It is there that he is reacquainted with everyone again. Charlotte is insanely skeptical for a teenager wearing a pink dance outfit, Dumah is kind enough, Saman does not mind instructing him how to cook, and Hannah observes him like the journalist she is, searching for flaws in his character.

Sam has no clue how they can be cordial yet critical at the same time.

————

Sam’s smartphone rings late that night, when he returns to his apartment and unpacks essentials.

Sam unplugs the phone from the charger and answers tiredly, “hey, Dean.”

“I finally got the twins to sleep for the night,” Dean sighs happily. “Cas can eat my shorts when he gets back from the fundraiser.”

“I’d think you’d want him to-”

“Whoa there!” Dean exclaims scandalously. “Is New York already changing you?”

Sam thinks of Gabriel swearing in Italian earlier that day when a taxi inched too close to the crosswalk, causing Sam to wince due to his sensitivity to sound.

Gosh, Gabriel Novak was somethin’ else.

“Course not. Someone’s gotta preserve the way of Kansas in the east,” Sam says weakly.

“So tell me everything,” Dean says eagerly.

Sam explains, “I guess...I was getting restless, the way you did all those years ago. The firm gave me the opportunity to move, and I...I wanted something new.”

“I can’t believe you did it,” Dean says proudly. “I think this’ll be really good for you.”

The edges of his words fall into silence, and Sam knows exactly why.

Sam thinks about her for a fleeting second. With a screeching halt, he finally realizes why he left Kansas.

He was tired of all the looks.

‘Oh, that’s the boy whose college girlfriend died in that car accident. Such a shame.’

“Sammy,” Dean’s voice grounds him, “I know you might be a little afraid, but I promise you’ll be alright.”

“Yeah,” Sam says, “yeah.”

Maybe one day he’ll believe himself.

“Are you thinking about,” Dean says hesitantly, “settling there for good?”

A wife or husband? Having kids? Creating a cookie-cutter life?

The image of Gabriel laughing at the dinner table an hour earlier is there and gone.

Sam clears his throat and poses a half-truth. “I’m not pursuing anyone.”

Dean pauses for a very long time. Sam waits.

Dean says softly, “you can’t do this forever, Sammy.”

“I know,” Sam murmurs.

“It’s been years,” Dean says. “Promise me you’ll try.”

“Okay,” Sam whispers.

“Promise?”

A memory flash plays in Sam’s mind. It was a month after the crash killed Jessica, and Dean stayed with him. 

Dean didn’t leave his side for almost three months. It was the last time Dean asked Sam to make a promise. 

‘Promise me you’ll finish your law degree,’ Dean murmured.

Sam fulfilled his promise.

This time, though...

“Promise,” Sam grumbles.

“Sam-” Dean starts.

“I’ll try,” Sam says, a little clearer. Pain ripples through him, but it is replaced by another man’s grin. “I’ll try for him.”

“Him?!” Dean squawks. “Who’s him?!”

Sam realizes too late that he said way too much.

“No one,” Sam says smoothly, “forget it.”

“Sam!”

“Don’t push it,” Sam says, cheeks burning in embarrassment.

Dean sighs. “Dammit. Fine. You’re lucky Cas just walked in.”

“Call whenever,” Sam reminds him.

“Alright. Bye.”

Sam sticks his smartphone back in the charging outlet and sighs to himself.

Shit. He was done for.


	4. I Want You To Move On, Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shakes his head. “Your puns aren’t funny.”
> 
> Gabriel laughs at himself in the middle of a grocery store aisle. He blushes as he observes the contents of the cart, pushing it forward with Sam reading the list.
> 
> “Your loss,” Gabriel says, shaking his head, a smile permanently stuck to his face.
> 
> How easy, it is, to fall for Sam Winchester.

Sunday

Sam shakes his head. “Your puns aren’t funny.”

Gabriel laughs at himself in the middle of a grocery store aisle. He blushes as he observes the contents of the cart, pushing it forward with Sam reading the list.

“Your loss,” Gabriel says, shaking his head, a smile permanently stuck to his face.

How easy, it is, to fall for Sam Winchester.

The smile lingers for most of the afternoon he helps Sam unpack, too. Gabriel is an incredible organizer due to being a father, and Sam does not protest once where he places items throughout the apartment.

When he returns to his own hectic apartment for dinner, Samandriel is the first to notice Gabriel’s happier mood.

Over a boiling pot of broth, Samandriel asks, “can you be more obvious, Gabe?”

Gabriel tames his flustered expression and clears his throat. He advances to the kitchen and brings out plates from the cupboard.

Samandriel looks over his shoulder and says, “I hope you’re being careful.”

When he does not glance away, Gabriel nods his profile soberingly.

Last time he fell, he fell hard. He knows he needs to keep a clear head.

————

Monday

“Water!”

“Ah!” Charlotte runs to the kitchen with her backpack strapped on, her long blonde hair smoothed into waves down her back. 

Gabriel holds out the metal cylinder filled with filtered water and advises, “slow down, we’ll get there.”

“Yeah,” Charlotte says glibly, her palm closing around the thermos. She manages to stick it in the cup holder on the side of her backpack.

Gabriel narrows his eyes at the streak of mascara highlighting his daughter’s eyes. “So we’re wearing makeup to school now?”

Charlotte hums, and Hannah comes to pat her shoulder. Charlotte looks up at Hannah as she addresses Gabriel.

“She’s growing up,” Hannah sings.

Charlotte laughs, and Gabriel masks his overflow of emotions.

His little girl…

No crying.

Gabriel asks, “have your ballet shoes?”

Charlotte nods.

“Ready for your test?”

She hums.

Gabriel eyes her suspiciously. “Are we sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, honey,” Gabriel says, “do good today.”

Hannah places a hand on her shoulder and guides her to the door.

“Bye Dad!”

Charlotte is ushered out of the apartment, being taken to school by Hannah.

Dumah enters the family room completely ready for work. “Coffee, Gabe.”

“Ah!”

Gabriel rushes to retrieve reusable coffee cups while Samandriel enters tiredly.

“I’ll do it, crazy,” he says lazily, gliding into the kitchen half-asleep. 

Samandriel pushes Gabriel away lightly and grabs the cups. He had left the coffee brewing last night, and he tipped the pot back into both cups quickly. With two resounding presses, he secures the plastic lids on top.

“There we go,” Samandriel says as he shuffles away, “bye now.”

Gabriel and Dumah share a look as Samandriel disappears back in his room. They take their respective patterned cups and set off to work.

Mid-morning at his cubicle, Gabriel receives a text from Sam.

Sam: This shit is so weird.

Without any context, Gabriel bites down a laugh. His office had strict policies for private messages and calls: he couldn’t answer them until lunch. And he couldn’t so much as make a sound besides typing to break the choking silence.

Gabriel: What?

Sam: I have my own office.

Gabriel: Really?!

Sam: It’s super weird. They’re being too nice.

Gabriel: People in New York can be nice.

Sam: That’s not what the movies say.

Gabriel: Grumpy. We can be grumpy.

Sam: I figured that out when a guy I was two feet away from said to watch where I was walking.

Gabriel places a hand over his mouth to muffle laughter.

Gabriel: Classic.

Sam sends a laughter emoji, and at lunch, Dumah notices Gabriel’s mood shift.

“Gabe,” Dumah says while they wait at a hot dog cart line, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile on a work day.”

“I smile plenty,” Gabriel says defensively.

“Not like this,” Dumah chimes, a teasing smile on her face.

Gabriel prevents a blush before it can form.

————

Tuesday

Gabriel: How was your first day?

He feels a stab of embarrassment reach him as he sends the text that morning.

Needy, much?

Sam: I got hit on by every woman there.

Something in Gabriel’s heart drops to his stomach. He knows how attractive Sam is; he should have expected this.

He only let it hurt for a minute.

Then, he realized that he was a fool after all.

He can’t force Sam to want him. He’s a single man in New York City. 

Sam can find other people. It’s fine.

Truly. It’s fine.

Gabriel: I would think so. Interested in any?

It takes a moment for Sam to reply, and he is sent a strange look from his daughter across the breakfast table. Charlotte is soon distracted by Hannah handing her more toast.

Sam: No, I just want to do my work and hang out with you.

Gabriel blinks, not truly registering the words on his smartphone screen.

For his own sanity, he takes it at face value. 

Gabriel: That’s a good starting point.

Sam does not reply, and Gabriel thinks about it the entire day.

————

Wednesday

“Dad.”

Gabriel purses his lips and looks up from his smartphone. He hadn’t heard from Sam that day, and it was nighttime.

“Char,” Gabriel says, observing his daughter’s concerned expression from the table, “is something wrong?”

Charlotte pauses in her homework, setting her pen beside her worksheet. Even though they were across the room from each other, her gaze pierces through him as if she were an inch away.

“I don’t know,” she narrows her eyes, “is there?”

Samandriel, Hannah, and Dumah, absorbed in a baseball game, suddenly look between the two of them.

Gabriel says nothing.

“Dad,” Charlotte says, “you’ve been weird for days.”

Gabriel grins brightly to distract her. He says playfully, “no, you’re the weird one.”

Charlotte sends him a glance so sour that she looks like her mother. “Don’t do that.”

Gabriel puts on his best mask and says lightly, “I’m fine, Char. Don’t ever worry about me.”

“You know that makes me worry about you,” Charlotte says, “right?”

Gabriel smiles and says nothing.

————

Thursday

Sam: Yesterday was a complete and total disaster.

He nearly squeals when he sees the message on his phone when it’s turned on.

Gabriel: How so?

Sam: My boss took me to a strip club.

He blinks several times.

Gabriel: What the fuck.

Sam: Right!

Gabriel: Isn’t that against policy or something?

Sam: Guess not!

He can practically hear Sam’s scandalized voice in his frantic typing. He laughs under the covers of his bed.

Gabriel: Lawyers do what they want in this city. Did you do anything?

Sam: No! Why would I?!

Gabriel: I know you’re a good guy. Just checking. Curiosity.

Sam: The whole situation was just...ugh.

Gabriel: Gross?

Sam: Yeah.

Gabriel: You have to come up with a list of excuses.

Sam: That’s so smart.

He grins like an idiot.

Gabriel: I try.

When his family notices yet another mood shift, they remain silent for once.

————

Friday 

Gabriel and Dumah are walking to the apartment when his phone rings.

It’s Sam.

Gabriel answers it a little too eagerly. “Hey.”

“So I have a list of excuses. Are you ready?”

Gabriel cannot hide a smile from Dumah, who studies his profile as they walk. “Go ahead.”

“I have situational diarrhea.”

Gabriel busts out laughing in the middle of the sidewalk, uncaring of the dirty looks he receives in return. “That’s ingenious. Not only will it skeeve off everyone-”

“But all the women won’t ask me out?” Sam finishes. “That’s the goal.”

Gabriel chuckles. “I don’t need to hear the rest of the list. That’s a winner right there.”

“I didn’t think I would need to resort to such lengths,” Sam sighs, “but here we are. My mother would be so proud.”

Gabriel crosses the street with Dumah. “Hey, it was definitely creepy. Wasn’t your fault at all.”

Sam pauses. “Hey, um...could I see you tomorrow?”

Gabriel hears the hope in his voice, and he replies, “I’ll check if I have anything going on.”

“Text me later, then. I’ll let you go.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Gabriel hangs up and receives the full weight of Dumah’s look.

“Okay,” Dumah says, “so you have a crush on Sam Winchester. Do we have a problem here?”

Gabriel ushers Dumah inside their apartment building as a distraction. “Course not.”

The door closes behind him, and Dumah reaches the elevator first. She presses the button and says, “I hope you’re being cautious.”

“Dumah,” Gabriel sighs, “Char is my everything. My sun rises and sets around her. I know what to prioritize.”

The elevator doors open and close behind them. As they are brought to the third floor, Dumah murmurs, “I never said you didn’t. You’re an amazing father. But you should tell her what’s going on.”

Gabriel frowns. “Maybe,” he says noncommittally.

The doors ding again, and Dumah opens the door to their apartment.

There is excited chatter inside, and the two advance into the family room.

“Meg?!”

————

Saturday

Meg whistles a two-tone tune, a partial smile on her face as she chimes, “ready to see a tiger shark, Char?”

Charlotte flounces into the living room, wearing a blue ensemble with matching eyeliner. “Yes!”

“We don’t get out much,” Gabriel jokes to Meg.

The wardrobe designer who was Cas’s college friend says dryly, “I can see that.” Meg brushes back Charlotte’s wavy hair behind her shoulders. “You look wonderful, sweetheart.”

Gabriel receives a text.

Sam: This aquarium has giant turtles!

Meg does not miss Gabriel’s smile.

Gabriel: So you like turtles.

Sam: Finding Nemo all the way.

Gabriel snorts and says, “let’s get to the train.”

They make it to the aquarium within an hour, and they find Sam watching otters.

“Hm,” Meg says loudly, “how strange.”

Sam turns, and Gabriel’s breath catches.

There is nothing special about Sam’s outfit, but the way the dark colors accentuate his tallness and sharp jaw is breathtaking.

“Are you the one I should thank,” Sam asks Meg, “for dressing my brother in the worst Victorian waistcoat ever?”

Meg laughs genuinely, and it takes Gabriel aback. “I had no say in that horrid waistcoat, but I’m glad you agree.”

“Anyone who’s willing to make my brother look ridiculous in a movie is a friend,” Sam decides.

“Someone’s gotta mess with Dean and Cas,” Meg agrees slyly.

Sam switches his attention to Charlotte, shifting on his feet a little awkwardly. “Almost everything in the tourist shop is about that tiger shark.”

Charlotte studies Sam very carefully, almost primly like her uncle Cas.

She tips her head up and does a one-eighty. She smiles. “That means it’s gonna be good.”

Gabriel blinks at the exchange, puzzled for a beat. 

But Sam switches his attention to Gabriel and sends him an easy smile.

Gabriel very nearly melts into a puddle on the blue-carpeted floor.

Charlotte sees this, and so does Meg.

And they watch Gabriel straighten with a quirk of his upturned lips. His gaze sweeps away from Sam and goes back to Charlotte.

If Sam keeps looking at him like that, he should know his daughter is his priority.

Gabriel says, “then let’s go see it.”

————

Sunday

When Gabriel wakes, it is nearly noon.

He shoots out of bed like a cannonball, wondering why in the goddamn hell he was still asleep when he’s a parent who needs to care for a teenager and should never rest this late ever-

He stumbles into the family room in sweatpants and a sleep shirt, hair askew.

He halts when everyone is gathered around the couch, waiting for him.

Gabriel, with wide eyes, drops onto the carpet before them. “What’s this? Why did you let me sleep this l-”

“Calm down,” Samandriel says.

Gabriel closes his mouth, even though Samandriel’s command isn’t forceful.

“Dad,” Charlotte says with crossed arms, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Gabriel’s skin is set aflame, and he bows his head in shame. He grasps onto words in the darkest pits of his mind.

The parts he buried for so long, expressly for Charlotte, so she wouldn’t have to worry about Gabriel ever being with someone else.

But Gabriel looked at Sam last week, and he was even more lost than the first time they met five years ago.

Gabriel says weakly, “because I don’t know where to even begin.”

“How about the beginning, dingus?” Meg accuses.

Gabriel crosses his legs, feeling very small in the middle of the carpet. His family sat on the couch like judges ready to lock him up.

He swallows thickly, and looks away while he speaks. “I was attracted to Sam at Dean and Cas’s wedding reception. I tried not to think about it. Now that he’s here...I don’t know. I’m being careful. I don’t...Char,” he looks up at his daughter’s inscrutable face, “I don’t ever want to put you in a situation that’s...that could fall apart.”

Charlotte suddenly can’t look at him, and she says, “I didn’t ask you to do that. I want you to move on, Dad.”

Gabriel stares at his daughter in complete disbelief. “What?” He breathes.

“Yeah,” Charlotte leans forward, “I want you to be happy. Is that so hard to believe?”

“I am happy, Char,” Gabriel says softly.

“There are different kinds of happy,” Charlotte says. “You’re on autopilot happy. You haven’t been genuinely happy since those old videos I saw of you singing to me as a baby.”

Gabriel remembers the old video, and wonders which of them showed it to her. Hannah? Dumah? Meg? Samandriel?

Probably Samandriel. Goddammit.

That video was weeks before Gabriel learned that his wife had cancer.

Is that the last time he’d been truly happy?

He doesn’t know.

And he wants to cry.

“Dad,” Charlotte says, “you don’t have to take care of me as much anymore. You can do this for yourself.”

Gabriel feels his eyes watering. His daughter has grown so much in so little time that he wants to curl up in a ball and sob like a child.

He swallows his feelings before he blubbers in the middle of the apartment and says, “thank you, Char. You get all the ice cream you want today.”

Charlotte smiles softly. “So do you.”


	5. Join Us On This Journey Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Damn,” Sam breathes, drinking in the splendor and grace of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral.
> 
> Passerby on the sidewalk send them annoyed looks as they block the pathway, so Gabriel leads them forward a step.
> 
> Sam follows, but does not look away from the famed church. His profile catches in the partial sunlight peeking through puffy clouds. He has not shaved in a few days, a cinnamon-oak beard filling out around his sharp jawline. His hair is long enough now to be tied back in a bun, which he tucks underneath a maroon University of Kansas hoodie.
> 
> There is a quick wind chill, but Gabriel gets goosebumps for an entirely different reason.

I.

Gabriel is on the phone with Sam after work, Dumah watching on with teasing fondness, when he mentions that he used his excuse for the first time ever.

His boss was so disgusted that it took all of Sam’s willpower not to bust out laughing in the middle of his office.

“This may have been a gross scenario,” Sam says between snort-chuckles, “but I love the disgusted looks I’m getting.”

Gabriel laughs like a maniac while at the crosswalk.

He starts to truly, genuinely fall.

————

II.

Gabriel blinks incredulously at the mound of greens on Sam’s plate. 

He thought taking Sam to a hipster salad bar would be a hilarious joke, but Sam was very grateful to be there.

Sam takes his fork and breaks the plastic covering by breaking it down the bottom, not the top.

Gabriel observes the quirk and hums. “Never done it like that.”

Sam looks up, watching Gabriel break the plastic from the bottom of the fork. It jabs through on the second try, and Gabriel pulls it out with a shrug.

Sam promptly glances down sheepishly.

Gabriel looks back up with a smile. “Good one, hipster.”

That gets Sam to smile back, and Gabriel falls farther.

————

III.

“Damn,” Sam breathes, drinking in the splendor and grace of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral.

Passerby on the sidewalk send them annoyed looks as they block the pathway, so Gabriel leads them forward a step.

Sam follows, but does not look away from the famed church. His profile catches in the partial sunlight peeking through puffy clouds. He has not shaved in a few days, a cinnamon-oak beard filling out around his sharp jawline. His hair is long enough now to be tied back in a bun, which he tucks underneath a maroon University of Kansas hoodie.

There is a quick wind chill, but Gabriel gets goosebumps for an entirely different reason.

————

IV.

Gabriel waits at the Central Park Zoo entrance with his daughter in tow. Charlotte group texts with her fellow ballerinas and giggles at their quips while they wait.

When Sam jogs towards them and stops, Gabriel’s eyes widen.

He is wearing black pants with a white stripe down the sides, a thin gray hoodie tight around his form.

This is how Gabriel will die, he thinks.

Sam smiles at Charlotte before him. “How’s it going, Char?”

Charlotte, who had grown used to Sam’s presence over the weeks, says brightly, “I’m good, getting ready for my recital.”

Sam arches an eyebrow at Gabriel. “You didn’t tell me about a recital.”

Gabriel blushes visibly and blames it on the wind. “I’ll be unavailable for Char’s recital next weekend. Now you know.”

“You can come,” Charlotte chimes, to Gabriel’s unending surprise.

Gabriel gets whiplash with how fast his head snaps towards his teenage daughter.

Sam does not notice, and Charlotte smiles mischievously. Her gaze remains directed towards a frozen Sam.

“O-okay,” Sam nods, “sure.”

“You don’t have to,” Gabriel says in a rush. “Y-You probably have better things to do, a-and-”

“I’ll go,” Sam decides, “I’d love to.”

Charlotte’s grin shows she is far too pleased at what she’s done. “Dad’ll save you a seat.” She winks at Gabriel so Sam wouldn’t see it. “Right, Dad?”

Gabriel stutters, “s-sure. Yeah.” His cheeks flare up with a bout of heat. “Okay.”

He’s going to die of embarrassment one day.

————

V.

When Sam sits beside Gabriel, he gapes like the idiot he is.

Sam smiles, and Gabriel swears the dimmed lights brighten.

“Hey,” Sam says shyly, waving over at Hannah, Dumah, and Samandriel, flanking Gabriel’s opposite side.

They whisper their own jolly hello’s, and Gabriel is glad the darkness hides his burning red face.

Gabriel awkwardly pulls up the video function on his smartphone. “Just so you know, these things are usually really lame. Cute, but lame.”

“I’m not expectin’ the Taj Mahal,” Sam says endearingly, eyes glinting and his accent tumbling out of his mouth.

Is this how Cas fell for Dean? Little moments like this, or all at once?

Maybe both.

After the entire group gleefully films Charlotte during her solo, she receives a silver medal.

Sam scoffs at the girl who wins gold, the copy of mother and daughter preening as if they earned the praise. “Please. Char was clearly better.”

Gabriel, Samandriel, Hannah, and Dumah stare at him incredulously. Sam is too busy absorbing the scene before him to notice.

Samandriel looks at Hannah, who looks at Dumah. She nods, and so does Hannah. Samandriel smiles amusedly, then looks at Gabriel.

Samandriel nods curtly and says quietly, “good choice.”

Gabriel swears he’s going to die of embarrassment sooner rather than later.

————

VI.

Gabriel decides to drop Charlotte off at school instead of Hannah on a Friday morning.

He does not expect his path to cross with Sam’s.

Charlotte smiles slyly as Sam dutifully approaches by crossing a side street. He is dressed for work, wearing a navy suit paired with a maroon tie. He carries a briefcase and his hair is neatly brushed into waves. He is completely clean-shaven, cutting an imposing yet gentle figure due to his height.

Gabriel feels incredibly self-conscious in his standard clearance gray suit that he wears almost every day to work. 

But Charlotte greets Sam happily, and the way Sam looks at Gabriel makes his insecurity disappear in a single blip.

Does Sam render everyone dizzy when he looks at them? Or is this just for him?

Charlotte beams brightly at Gabriel, making a motion with her eyes between him and Sam.

Gabriel knows what she means by it when Sam says, “great to see ya both. Taking a different route sure worked out for me.”

That look is just for him. No question.

Gabriel smiles sheepishly. “It’s usually Hannah that takes Char. I’m trying a new way too.”

“Please,” Charlotte starts forward and adjusts her backpack straps, “join us on this journey together.”

Sam does, until they finally reach Charlotte’s small school. As she enters to find her ballet friends, the mother whose daughter won the gold medal emerges.

Sam lingers near the gate as Gabriel furrows his brows at Sharon.

“Well,” Sharon says haughtily, “I thought you were too good to appear on your own.”

Gabriel smiles. “Oh, I’m ever so sorry to keep you waiting, Your Majesty.”

Sharon crosses her arms, unable to detect the insincerity in Gabriel’s voice. “You should be. It’s a real shame that you can’t be here for your daughter every day.”

Gabriel hums considerately, lacing his tone with sugar and a kick to the teeth. “We can’t all be sitting in a mansion waiting for our pool boy to fuck us, Sharon.”

Sharon blinks, stepping back and saying, “why, I never!” Her high heels resound against the cobblestone as she calls out, “you’re never getting invited to another bake sale ever again!”

Gabriel waves with a grin. “Your loss, Sharon!”

He laughs and goes to the gate, watching Sharon cross the street in a huff.

He realizes Sam is still there, and the man is doubled over laughing. Sam stifles his laughs near a shrub so that the woman wouldn’t hear until she was out of earshot.

Sam picks his head up, expression alight with mirth. “Goddamn, papa bear. No coffee this morning?”

Gabriel blushes. “As a matter of fact, I woke up late.”

“At this point,” Sam smiles, “who cares if we’re a few minutes late to work?”

Gabriel’s heart skips, and he falls faster.

————

VII.

“Salt next?”

Samandriel hums, and Gabriel closes the apartment door with wide eyes.

Sam is in the kitchen. Tipping two shakes of salt into a pot of boiling water.

Gabriel nearly drops his house keys, but he remembers to put them in a bowl at the last second.

The apartment is always a mess. Five people live there year-round, after all, not to mention family members who travel there for holidays.

Gabriel wants to impress Sam. He wants to show him how neat he is, but that would be lying.

Gabriel’s life is a mess. 

And Sam seems fine with that.

He stands over the stove as Samandriel advises, “you gotta push this dial down...”

Gabriel filters it out, and hears Dumah ask, “learning how to soften pasta, Sam?”

Dumah is beside him. Right.

Sam glances at the duo as they enter, smiling shyly. “Hey, Gabe. Hi Dumah. Yes,” he answers, “I can’t seem to cook anythin’ right.”

Samandriel continues his explanation after sending Gabriel a discreet wink. Hannah emerges with Charlotte and declares Charlotte is a whiz at math.

Gabriel grins with pride. “My bambino!”

“Oh no,” Charlotte shakes her head, “not now, Dad.”

Gabriel advances forward until Charlotte is squished in his arms. “My baby girl is just like her Dad.”

“Daaaaad!”

Gabriel tucks his chin over Charlotte’s blonde head and laughs. He swings her around as if she were little. “Deal with it.”

Charlotte wriggles away after allowing the hug for a moment. “Okay! No more!”

Gabriel laughs delightedly as Charlotte makes a beeline for the kitchen, sitting at a counter stool.

“Love you too, Char!”

Charlotte hides her face in her sweater sleeves.

And Sam observes in a quick flash of fondness before turning back to listen to instructions.

Gabriel’s heart quickens, and he nearly crashes.

————

VIII.

Sam’s gangly limbs barely fit inside the ferry seat.

Gabriel cackles like an idiot, Charlotte asking, “are tall people problems the same as short people problems?”

Sam smiles at her and replies, “I suppose they are.”

“Guess you won’t fit in any bumper cars,” Charlotte giggles.

Sam flushes. “Guess not.”

Gabriel clicks his tongue. “Come on, Char. The man already has a hard enough time sitting down.”

Sam exhales a quick laugh and looks away sheepishly, a smile lingering on his lips.

Gabriel teases him through the rest of the Coney Island trip, clever quips that result in similar flushed reactions. It is a test, a way to gauge Sam’s feelings and prod at an inquiry.

Sam passes the test, and Gabriel lies in bed all night in a daze.

————

VIV.

Sam texts Gabriel in the middle of the afternoon on a work day. Since Gabriel is smart enough to leave his smartphone on silent with the screen facing up, he picks it up quietly.

Sam: This girl at the front desk keeps flirting with me. Help!

Gabriel furrows his brows and unlocks the smartphone.

Gabriel: How?

Sam: Keep texting me.

Gabriel: Okay…

Sam: Every time I walk through the lobby I need to seem busy.

Gabriel: She hasn’t gotten a clue yet?

Sam: Nope. I’m resorting to this for now.

Gabriel: Maybe she thinks you’re playing hard to get.

Sam: That doesn’t even make sense, Gabe.

Gabriel: I don’t know. Girl stuff.

Sam: She keeps looking at me.

Gabriel: Knock knock.

Sam: Who’s there?

Gabriel: Hatch.

Sam: Hatch who?

Gabriel: Bless you. Get a tissue.

Sam: Okay, that got me to smile. Good one.

Gabriel: Did she notice?

Sam: It got her to talk with the guard instead.

Gabriel: Mission accomplished!

Sam: Thank you!

Gabriel: I was bored, anyway.

Sam: :)

Gabriel is ready to set the phone down with a massive smile when he receives a second text.

Sam: I have Springsteen tickets for tomorrow night. I can properly thank you. Want to come?

Gabriel always thought his office floor couldn’t get any colder. 

Now that he was burning on the inside, he wants to fan himself from the heat.

Gabriel: I’ll think about it.

Sam: Let me know :)

Dumah suddenly pokes her head into his cubicle. From her crawling position on the floor, she hisses, “look busy!”

Gabriel blushes and hides his phone in a desk drawer. His fingers continue to type on the number pad on the computer. 

The boss does a sweep and doesn’t suspect a thing. 

Gabriel is pretty sure he’s falling in-

————

X.

He’s younger. Six years younger.

Gabriel pauses as a song plays from across Madison Square Garden. Sam is enraptured by the concert, but Gabriel purses his lips.

He’s attractive. So handsome that it almost doesn’t seem real.

How can a man like this be interested in little old Gabriel Novak?

He’s incredibly smart, too. Such a talented lawyer that he went from Kansas to New York City while hardly missing a beat.

And he’s so kind! So ineffably kind to Gabriel and his daughter and his family!

Gabriel is in love with this man, and he has no idea what to do.

Charming his wife was one thing, but this is something entirely different.

What should he do? Where does he even begin to charm Sam Winchester? Will Sam even reciprocate?

Gabriel almost bites on his tongue when he remembers Sam’s sparkling gaze.

He reciprocates.

But who will make the first move? Will it even work out? 

Gabriel looks away from Sam’s tall form and pretends he’s listening to the stage.

The fact that he has these questions means he’s not ready yet. He’s waiting for something, but he doesn’t know what it is.

He sighs and supposes there’s only one thing he can do.

Wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be sporadic between codas.
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


	6. I Need Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam murmurs, “those aren’t the lights I’m thinking about.”
> 
> He is thinking about last night, how the stage lights couldn’t be farther away from them, but upon glancing at Gabriel, it was as if those spotlights were on him instead.
> 
> There is a magnetism to Gabriel Novak, an invisible cosmic force that roots Sam in his spot at the strangest moments.

Sam falls out of bed when his smartphone ringtone pierces through the room. He groans and flops around, using his half-drooping covers as leverage. He places his palms against the fabric and pushes himself up, hand scrambling for the phone on his nightstand.

His bleary eyes blink at the caller ID and answers, “ugh, what?”

Sam sits in a puddle of blankets on the floor as Dean says, “hey, grumpy pants. You haven’t called in forever. Just wanted to make sure you’re not dead.”

Sam sighs. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine. Isn’t it, like, noon there?”

“I saw Springsteen last night. I’m tired.”

“That right?” Dean’s voice teases, “did ya go with anyone special?”

Sam blushes at the thought of him. “Psh. Most of the stuff I do is for work.”

He’s such a liar.

“Don’t overwork yourself, Sammy. You need to get out there. You’re in New York City!” Dean exclaims. “Being in your place would make me so excited.”

“You’re happy exactly where you are,” Sam says, musing on how different Dean is as a successful actor and a new father alongside Castiel.

An actor and a designer made it work. Why can’t a lawyer and an accountant?

Dean hums in affirmation. “I’m the luckiest man alive. I have the most beautiful husband, the most wonderful baby girls.” His tone softens. “I want this life for you too. Don’t get lost in those lights, Sammy.”

Sam murmurs, “those aren’t the lights I’m thinking about.”

He is thinking about last night, how the stage lights couldn’t be farther away from them, but upon glancing at Gabriel, it was as if those spotlights were on him instead.

There is a magnetism to Gabriel Novak, an invisible cosmic force that roots Sam in his spot at the strangest moments. 

“Saaaaaam,” Dean asks, “who in the whole wide world are you talking about?”

“No one,” Sam says too fast, “nothing.”

“Bullshit to the max,” Dean says amusedly. “I recall a slip-up from several weeks ago. ‘I’ll try for him.’ Who is he?”

“It’s,” Sam grits his teeth and practically hisses, “it’s nothing, Dean. Don’t jinx me.”

“Ooh,” Dean is smiling, Sam knows it, “this is frightfully interesting. You can’t avoid the topic forever, y’know.”

“Right,” Sam decides to stand shakily from the pool his covers made on the floor, “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Oh,” Dean frowns, his voice softens again, “alright. Just remember what I said. You can’t keep holding a candle over Jessica forever. It’s been years.”

Sam inhales and sighs through his nose. He grabs his blanket with his free hand and tosses it over the mattress. “I know. I promised you I’d try.”

“For him,” Dean teases.

Sam snorts. “Shut up, jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean holds back a laugh, “how about you tell me how well you’re doin’ with work?”

Sam obliges.

————

Sam kicks himself as he waits in the empty room. The chairs are medicine pink and plastic wrapped, causing his jeans to slide. His large legs are what keep him sat in the wooden structure.

The walls are a bland beige, framed photos of picturesque landscapes spaced evenly throughout the masses of empty space. There is a painting of a cabin in the woods that reminds Sam of Kansas.

The floors are dentist’s office white, an off-putting color beside the soft greens and blues. He wonders if this floor was, in fact, a former dentist’s office.

He focuses on the aging secretary typing slowly on her keyboard until a door opens.

He enters after the middle-aged woman ushers him into a seat. Her office, too, is as sparsely decorated as the waiting room.

The couch is charcoal leather, shockingly comfortable. Her chair is the color of orchids-

Best not to think about orchids.

“What brings you to my office, Sam Winchester?” The therapist, Dr. Williams, asks with more kindness than expected.

Sam sets his hands on his thighs, trying not to display a nervous tick; it got him into trouble when speaking with clients at the office.

He says hesitantly, “I’m facing a dilemma.”

“Don’t we all,” she says understandingly.

Sam can’t bring himself to smile. “So...I’m from Kansas. Came here for a job. Been here a little while now.”

The therapist writes and nods along.

Sam says, “I didn’t realize it until I was here, but...you see,” he shifts, “I went to University of Kansas and then on to law school. There was this girl, Jessica.” He swallows thickly, staring at a scuff mark on his jeans. “She was amazing. She was so much smarter than me. She...she chose me over everybody else. Could’ve had anyone, but she chose me.” He feels his eyes misting, and he blinks to disperse moisture. “We dated throughout most of college. On year three, I bought an engagement ring. I wanted to marry her so bad. She was gonna be the one. I was so sure about it.”

He falls silent, because he feels as if the therapist could guess where this was going.

And she would be wrong.

Dr. Williams looks up from her notepad. “But?”

Sam huffs, “but something terrible happened.” He feels his emotions removing from his mind, a person backing away from an angry viper. His tone becomes calculated, almost robotic. “Jessica’s car was pummeled by a semi in our senior year. Both her and the drunk driver died. That was almost a decade ago.”

The therapist is so silent that a pin could drop. Her lips press together into a line, and Sam is glad there is no sympathy in her eyes. He didn’t think he could take it if there was.

Sam says to her, “I became a lawyer for her. I became the best lawyer in my old firm. Now that I’m here,” he sighs, “I feel like I’m running away from something. But I haven’t felt like this in so long,” his hands fiddle with denim, “I’ve felt fine all this time. My older brother was really there for me. He encouraged me through law school, through my SPD diagnosis, everything. My mom and uncle did what they could too.” He grasps for words. “I’ve been good the past couple years. Taking care of myself. Doing the best I can. Now that I’m away from Kansas for the first time in my life,” he looks back at the woman, “why do I feel like I’m running away?”

Dr. Williams says gently, “that’s not your real dilemma.”

Sam inhales sharply, then exhales through his nose slowly. He cannot hide anything from her, not that he would try to conceal his feelings to a therapist.

Sam looks away and says, “there’s a guy. I’m really attracted to him. It’s the first person I’ve been interested in since Jessica died.”

“All this time,” Dr. Williams muses, “and you’ve not once been intimate with anyone else?”

Sam shakes his head. “I’ve only felt comfortable with that until recently. Not since I’ve met him.”

She scribbles on the notepad for a long time. He decides that it’s a very bad thing.

“It’s unhealthy to hold on for that long,” she says. “Do you think you’re betraying her if you’re intimate with anyone else?”

“Before Gabe,” Sam nearly winces at using his name, “I felt that way.”

“You say you’re healed,” Dr. Williams says, “but if you’re afraid of intimate relations, then you’re not truly healed.”

Sam purses his lips.

She writes more, then continues, “your mind is telling you the answer. If you feel like you’re running away from something, then you are.”

Sam thinks out loud. “I need closure. Even though I felt like I had it. I have to go back and visit.”

Dr. Williams leans back in her orchid chair. It is the shade of pink-purple orchids that Jessica loved so dearly. The vases upon vases of orchids that lined the pews at her funeral service.

“If that’s what you feel,” she says, “then you must do it.”

————

He feels like an asshole for the text he sends to Gabriel.

Sam: I’m visiting Kansas this week. I hope to see you when I’m back.

It takes longer than usual for Gabriel to reply. He hates himself every extra second.

Gabriel: Have fun! Well, as much fun as you can have in Kansas.

Sam can’t help but smile behind a layer of guilt.

————

Sam breathes deeply as he is encased in his mother’s hug. His nose sucks in the scent of strong pine and fresh air.

This is the only thing he misses about Kansas. The ability to take a deep breath and feel it work through his body, working wonders on his lungs.

And perhaps his heart, too.

————

He listens to Mary’s soap operas in the background as his uncle Bobby drinks beer with him at the kitchen table. It is late at night, and the minor time change affects Sam more than he thought it would.

“Boy,” Bobby says curtly, “why are you back here?”

Sam looks away shyly and says, “can’t I visit my old man and my mom?”

Bobby scoffs. “Try again.”

Sam sighs and leans back in his chair. “I’m gonna sound like a complete prick.”

“You could never.”

Sam narrows his eyes. “My therapist-”

“Oh God,” Bobby says, drinking the rest of his light beer.

Sam shakes his head fondly. “I told you.”

Bobby sets down the empty glass bottle. “Okay, now go.”

Sam sighs and stares at the tabletop. “My one session with a therapist made me realize that I need closure.”

Bobby falls silent as his gaze narrows. It takes a second for the statement to click.

Bobby nods his head in lieu of words.

“Sam, honey?” Mary’s voice trickles into the kitchen from the living room. “Could you get me some water?”

Sam’s chair squeaks as he pushes it back and stands up. “Sure, Mom.”

————

He sits with his legs crossed in front of the grave for a very long time. Someone, perhaps her mother or father, left a fresh bouquet of orchids bedside the headstone.

Sam traces the letters of Jessica’s name in midair with his index finger. The font is Victorian, because she loved reading old literature. The stone itself is recently-shined gray marble, not as drab as some of the others.

Even after all this time, her grave is well looked after.

It takes almost an hour for Sam to gather the courage to speak up. 

He inwardly laughs at himself. He can project in front of crowds in a courtroom without a care, but now that his audience is a single person, he falters?

Sam clears his throat several times before his voice is its normal tone. “Hey, Jess. Been years since I’ve come and seen ya. I’m sorry about that. I could never forget you.”

His eyes water, and he lets it happen.

“I moved to New York a little while ago. I came back because I needed to talk to you.” Sam’s vision blurs. “I became a lawyer for you. All in your honor. I still think about you a lot.” He sniffles as a tear falls into the grass. “I just wanted to let you know...I’m thinking about movin’ on from you. I met someone, and I swore I wouldn’t do this, but it happened. I-I’m attracted to someone, and before I make a move,” his voice comes out rushed as more tears fall, “I wanted you to know before anyone else in the whole world.”

He cries soundlessly, like he used to when his father-

Nope. That’s a separate thing. Not now.

“I just,” Sam sniffles at Jessica’s name, “I never once thought about anyone other than you. But then I met someone who...quite possibly might understand me more than anyone else.” He wipes away tears. “I guess I just needed to tell you. If you’re not okay with it, feel free to make the sun go away and bring on some rain.”

Sam looks up, and the bright sun stays, drying his tears.

He smiles. “Thank you, Jess. A piece of me will always love you.”

————

“My God,” she says, “I can’t believe my eyes. It’s New York boy.”

Sam smiles as Mary and Bobby usher him into a diner booth. “Hey, Ellen.”

Ellen puts one hand on her hip while the other holds both a notepad and a pen. “Did ya give up already?”

“Nah,” Sam says, “just a quick trip home.”

Ellen says to Mary, “you raised some good boys here. I have to make an appointment to simply speak with my daughter in California.”

“Jo’s a hard-working woman,” Mary defends, “I’m even proud of her.”

“Right, right,” Ellen clicks on the pen, “what can I get ya?”

————

When Sam is looking at Gabriel again, he feels ready.


	7. Something In Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There’s something different about you,” Balthazar leans a little closer, head tipped up to study him, “yes, something in your eyes. Something...something-”
> 
> Balthazar grabs onto Gabriel’s arm and pulls him down a little, almost to his level on the couch.
> 
> He gasps.
> 
> “Something,” Balthazar’s index finger touches Gabriel’s chest, “in your heart.”

Balthazar’s sudden arrival at the apartment prevents Gabriel from sulking.

When Sam texted he would be going to Kansas, a part of his heart dropped to the floor. He wondered if Sam was thinking about moving back home.

But when the ever-cheerful fashion model entered the apartment declaring he was there for some fashion week or another, Gabriel allowed himself to get caught up in the fanfare.

He helps Balthazar unpack and settle back in for a couple days. He listens to all of his stories about Los Angeles and Paris and London. He hears about the many men that Balthazar pursues at every stop, as well as news about his little brother.

“Cassie is a little worse for wear,” Balthazar says, “but you can tell how happy he is being a father. It doesn’t hurt that Dean is so scrumptious.”

“Balthazar,” Gabriel sighs.

He grins. “I’m stating facts. Anywho, here’s a little taste of drama.” Balthazar pauses, leaning closer at the table. “Charlie and Dorothy are thinking about wedding bells.”

Gabriel nods. “They’ve been together for years. Makes sense.”

He takes Balthazar to every nightclub he wants to visit, anything to get his mind off of Sam. He ignores worried glances from Samandriel, Hannah, Dumah, and his own daughter.

Gabriel lingers with his one allotted cocktail all night, until Balthazar is too tipsy to have sex with the dance partners he chooses. He brings Balthazar back home and has him crash on the couch without complaining.

It is on his last night in New York that a drunk Balthazar gets oddly perceptive.

“You’ve been acting,” Balthazar slurs as he plops on the mattress, “so strange this week, Gabe. You’ve never done this shit with me before.”

Gabriel turns away and decides to get him a drink. He pads over to the kitchen, mindful of sleeping figures nearby, and fills a glass with tap water.

When he returns, and Balthazar drinks the water with no fuss, Gabriel fears he may not be as drunk as usual.

“Gabe,” his eyes glitter in the shadows, “what’s going on with you? What’s changed?”

“Nothing,” Gabriel lies, figuring Balthazar will forget about it in a couple seconds and fall asleep.

Balthazar sits with a straightness in his spine, and Gabriel realizes he’s in trouble.

“There’s something different about you,” Balthazar leans a little closer, head tipped up to study him, “yes, something in your eyes. Something...something-”

Balthazar grabs onto Gabriel’s arm and pulls him down a little, almost to his level on the couch.

He gasps.

“Something,” Balthazar’s index finger touches Gabriel’s chest, “in your heart.”

Gabriel grits his teeth to school his expression.

Balthazar looks at him very closely, using his grip to pull Gabriel by the hand. Gabriel falls to his knees on the carpet.

“Yes,” Balthazar whispers, “you’re in love with someone. Gabe,” his teeth shine in the moonlight, “I’m so happy for you! Who is it? What’s her name? What’s his name? What’s their height and weight and hair color and eye color and skin color and-”

“Okay,” Gabriel wrenches his hand away from Balthazar, “that’s enough.”

Balthazar suddenly grows silent, frowning deeply and studying him for a moment.

“Gabe,” Balthazar asks soberingly, “what’s going on?”

Gabriel inhales deeply, then exhales through his nose slowly.

“It’s Sam Winchester.”

Balthazar doesn’t react for a long moment. Too long of a moment. 

The silence chokes Gabriel. He looks down at the ratty carpet that needed to be replaced five years ago, but he never had the time or the extra money to make it happen.

Balthazar breathes, “what did you just say?”

Gabriel is quiet for a few beats, unable to look Castiel’s friend in the eye.

“You heard me,” he says gravely, shrinking in on himself, wishing he could sink into his terrible carpet and never come back out again.

Balthazar clutches onto Gabriel’s palm, forcing him to look up.

“Gabriel Novak,” Balthazar says, “anyone you love is absolutely magnificent and unique. Don’t ever apologize for loving anyone, especially not when that person just so happens to be your brother-in-law.”

Gabriel purses his lips and feels his eyes watering.

Balthazar murmurs, “this is the first person you’ve fallen for since Charlotte’s mother. It’s been eleven years. You deserve happiness more than anyone else I know besides Cassie.” His voice becomes fierce and serious. “Who cares what other people think? I certainly fucking don’t. I once wore a Speedo on a runway. You shouldn’t care either.”

Gabriel’s mouth upturns at the memory of Balthazar strutting his stuff almost entirely naked several years ago. It made quite a splash in the newspapers, from local to international.

He blinks away moisture and whispers, “thanks, Bal. I just don’t know...I mean,” he frowns, “he disappeared on me this week. What do you think that means?”

Balthazar hums. “Are your feelings reciprocated?”

“I think so.”

“You,” he narrows his eyes, “think so.”

“How else do you interpret puppy dog eyes?” Gabriel asks with a shrug.

Balthazar smiles in the darkness. “Well that’s a good sign. It must be a good thing, Gabe. Be patient.”

Gabriel nods, pursing his lips and rising to his feet. “Now I’m gonna read you a bedtime story.”

Balthazar grins. “Are you?”

“It’s called Go the Fuck to Sleep.”

Balthazar releases peals of laughter as he lays on the couch. “You’re such a great dad. Thank you.”

————

“Dad.”

Gabriel stares at the minimal skyline visible outside their apartment’s only window. There are gray clouds ready to dump rain at any time, fog misting up the glass.

The nook underneath the windowsill used to be his wife’s favorite place to sit. When she passed, they used it to shelve clutter. Charlotte’s books were near his feet as he tilted his head towards the glass.

“Dad.”

Gabriel places his index digit on the window. Perspiration was apparent even inside the apartment. It leaves a circle where he places his finger. He removes his finger from the cold glass and observes the single drop of wetness on his skin.

Balthazar left this morning, his only distraction and guiding light. Gabriel sank into a funk as a result.

He usually plans something for a weekend. But Sam wasn’t back yet.

“Dad.”

The books near Gabriel’s socked feet are shoved down to the carpet in a plop.

He blinks over at Charlotte, who sits between his legs.

“Dad,” she says softly, “you seem down.”

“Oh,” Gabriel smiles wanly, “I’m alright, sweetheart.”

Charlotte frowns, then shakes her head. Her blonde wavy hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and her lips are pursed with light pink lipstick. Her lack of dark makeup brightens the natural glow in her tanned skin.

She scoots closer, until her arms are tossed around his neck. “I know you miss him.”

Gabriel’s hand smooths over Charlotte’s ponytail while the other holds her. His legs point up and to the side, allowing Charlotte to have more room on the nook.

Gabriel murmurs over Charlotte’s shoulder, “how about you, honey? How are you doing? How’s school? How’s ballet?” He scoffs at himself. “I haven’t asked in a while, huh?” He winces. “I’m sorry, Char.”

“I’m okay, Dad. Puberty sucks, but otherwise? I’m okay.”

Gabriel laughs as Charlotte leans her head back into his shoulder. Her profile smashes against one side, exactly how she sat in his lap when she was little.

“In fact,” Charlotte murmurs, “since you’re here and I’ve trapped you,” she encases Gabriel in a half-hug with a free arm, “I have to tell you something.”

Gabriel frowns down at his daughter. “Well that’s ominous.”

“I’m fine, Dad. It’s just,” Charlotte worries her lip, “I have a crush.”

Gabriel grins. “Ooooooh.”

“Daaaad,” she closes her eyes and hides in his neck, “stop it. I’m not done.”

Gabriel waits.

Charlotte continues, “on a girl.”

“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh,” Gabriel squeals, “is this my baby’s coming-out moment?!”

Charlotte sighs. “Here we go.”

Gabriel proceeds to speak rapid exclamations in Italian, finishing in English, “I’m so very happy you told me, sweetheart. I couldn’t be prouder of you.” He places a kiss on Charlotte’s head. “Oh, my bambino is growing up.”

“I’m glad everyone’s shopping so no one can see how embarrassing you are, Dad,” Charlotte says.

Gabriel squeezes his daughter in an even tighter hug. “I love you, darling. Now tell me about this girl.”

“I don’t think I should,” Charlotte teases.

“Tell meeeee!”

Charlotte sighs. “If you insist…”

————

Sam: Sorry for disappearing. My flight will be landing in the airport soon.

Gabriel stares at his smartphone screen for a long moment. He is sitting on the second floor of McDonald’s across from Charlotte, who decided today was an impromptu cheat day.

“Daaaad,” Charlotte sings, “you’ve got that look at on your faaaace.”

Gabriel promptly blushes. “That’s enough outta you, missy.”

Charlotte clicks out a tune with her tongue, making a tick-tock motion, while Gabriel searches for a reply.

Gabriel: I can pick you up with Charlotte. We’re out anyway.

Sam: Great! Thanks so much.

Gabriel pockets his phone and shoots his daughter a look. “You’re not funny.”

“Yeeeeees I am!”

————

Gabriel has to applaud himself. He seems almost disinterested in Sam’s entrance back into his life.

The truth was Gabriel missed Sam more than he’ll admit to anyone, not even himself.

Gabriel wants to ask Sam so badly walking through the airport, and on the taxi ride to his apartment, and inside his building, why Sam left to go to Kansas abruptly.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to seem like a prying weirdo.

Maybe Sam will tell him one day.

————

That day comes a week later, when Gabriel brings Sam to the most famous elevator in the city followed by the most famous roof in the city.

It is on the off-hours that they find themselves atop the Empire State Building. The sun is setting, and most of the tourists are taking the elevators down to hunt for food. It is Gabriel’s knowledge of the city that teaches him when to best visit tourist spots while remaining a local.

Sam stands near metal binoculars and decides to peek through the fence instead. 

“Huh,” he says, “not bad.”

Gabriel cranes to see what Sam does. The skyline that day is not at its best, but the blood orange sunset makes up for its flaws.

The sunset on Sam’s face, in particular, nearly makes Gabriel’s breath catch. He checks his surroundings, only a few people mulling about in far-off sections of the roof. There are also two guards near the elevator, paying no mind to the both of them.

Gabriel steps away from Sam upon realizing he was a bit too close.

When he steps away, Sam looks away from the sight and moves closer.

Sam is looking at him, his head tipped down to smile at Gabriel.

“Hey, Gabe?” Sam’s voice is quiet. “Can I admit something to you?”

Gabriel’s heart is suddenly in his throat, and he laughs nervously. “As long as it’s not about some sort of weird hobby you like.”

Sam asks, “what hobbies are weird?”

“Plenty,” Gabriel says decisively, “extreme ironing. Sword collecting. Soap carving.”

Sam almost smiles, but it comes out a grimace. “Point taken. No weird hobbies.”

“Go ahead, then.”

Sam’s grimace becomes a frown. He is silent for a few beats, looking at the concrete.

He says, “we have more in common than you might know. It’s why we get along so well, I think.”

Gabriel wants to make a hair joke, but something tells him this isn’t the right time for comedy.

Sam looks at Gabriel fully. “The girl I loved died in a car crash when we were in college. Her name was Jessica. I had an engagement ring. I became a lawyer because of her.”

Gabriel is completely speechless. But not only speechless.

He is thoughtless.

“I went back to Kansas for closure. I wanted to move on,” Sam says. “It’s been almost a decade since it happened, and until now...I never truly recovered. Now that I’m here again, I realize,” he smiles, “this is where I’m meant to be.”

The sun sets on Sam’s face, and Gabriel cannot breathe.

“You’ve been really great, Gabe,” Sam says quietly. “Really helpful. Really nice. It means more than you know.” He looks away shyly. “I guess that’s everything I wanted to say. Um...yes. Heh. Wasn’t as hard as I thought.”

Sam is smiling at him again. Gabriel remembers to blink and exhale.

There are so many things Gabriel tries to say. His thoughts spill out half-finished in the depths of his mind. Scraps of poetry without an ending.

He verbalizes none of them. There is no point.

“Iris,” he blurts.

Sam narrows his eyes in confusion.

“My wife,” Gabriel says quietly, unwilling to break the fragile space between them, “was named Iris. She was everything I ever wanted, and thought I never deserved. She didn’t deserve to die of cancer so young, but I have a reminder every day of her. I do what I can to tell Charlotte about her mother, but until recently, it was hard for me to even think her name.” He smiles. “You’re right. We have a lot in common after all.”

Sam ducks his head and laughs. Gabriel laughs too.

He heals with every second that passes.

And when Sam looks back at him with sparkling eyes, Gabriel realizes the obstacle course they just maneuvered through.

They had reached the end, and everything from here was…promising.


	8. Those Are Some Nice Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel’s heart is in his throat when he flips through the karaoke book. It’s a selection of newer songs. Since he used to frequent this place before everything went wrong in his life, he found it updated.
> 
> It is fate that the song Charlotte made him listen to was added to the machine.
> 
> Gabriel chooses it without thinking of the repercussions. He was going to be spontaneous and lay it all out on the line. The worst that could happen is Sam would say, “nice song” and not read too much into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song included within the chapter, indicated with ellipsis, is “Feelings” by Lauv.

Gabriel works on autopilot, gaze glossing over the Excel document packed with hundreds of cell rows containing numbers. Gabriel uses shortcut keys to add the desired fields, choosing not to do it by hand or on a calculator like his boss prefers.

He hopes his stunt gives his boss a well-deserved aneurysm.

The sound of typing and silence unnerves Gabriel sometimes. But today, it makes his mind dive into daydreams. He can do his work in his sleep.

All he can think about is the Empire State Building. It was nights ago, but the sight of Sam enhanced by the sunset isn’t an image he’ll forget so easily. Sam bore his heart to Gabriel, and Gabriel had a warm feeling in his chest after he did the same.

They didn’t say everything they meant to, but going over the fact they were widows was probably a good starting point.

His smartphone blinks as if it knows who he thinks about.

Sam: Desk woman from before asked me out. I need an excuse right now! I can’t pretend to look at my work calendar forever!!!

Gabriel nearly laughs, but he catches himself.

Gabriel: You’re going to watch me do karaoke.

Sam: Karaoke is still a thing?!

Gabriel: Sure is. I’m great at it.

Sam: Alright. I’ll say that.

Gabriel puts the screen facing up on his desk and ensures no one is watching his cubicle. 

The weight of what he texted hits him, and he pales as white as a sheet.

He hasn’t sung since...since Charlotte was a baby.

He hasn’t sung since his wife was alive.

He hasn’t sung since his life was picture perfect, unknowing of the tragedies that would continue to ruin his existence.

It was bad enough that his and Castiel’s parents died. It was bad enough that Gabriel practically raised his brother by himself. It was bad enough that they were both poor and living on government programs until they became adults.

Gabriel’s smartphone blinks again.

Sam: So...that was weird.

Gabriel: What?

Sam: She seemed cool about me going to karaoke with you. Like...unaffected.

Gabriel: Well that’s good. She’s understanding.

Sam: New York women are so different from Kansas women.

Gabriel: I would think so.

Sam: Do I have to sing at this karaoke place?

Gabriel: Not if you don’t want to.

Sam: Good. I can’t dance, let alone sing.

Gabriel: I’ll take care of both of those things.

Sam: Good :)

He sets the smartphone back down, warmth spreading from his chest to his limbs.

He hopes he doesn’t embarrass himself.

————

“Dad?”

Gabriel sees Charlotte peek at him from his spot in the kitchen.

“Uncle Cassie and Dean are on the TV,” she announces.

Gabriel shrugs. “They’re famous.”

“They haven’t been on TV in a while,” Charlotte says.

Gabriel rises from his kitchen chair and plops beside Hannah and his daughter. Samandriel and Dumah remain in the kitchen cooking dinner.

“-making his grand return to the fashion world while husband, famed action star Dean Winchester, stays home with the kids.”

The gossip reporter’s voiceover cuts to a clip of Castiel and Charlie being interviewed.

Charlie practically sings, “I’m so glad to have my partner back!”

They side hug and Castiel laughs. “We see each other all the time!”

“But they don’t,” Charlie motions to the camera.

Gabriel realizes this is one of the few times Castiel’s voice has been captured on video. He usually stuck to transcripts and let Charlie do the PR interviews.

The voiceover continues, “I was lucky enough to sit with the man behind the designs, one of the first times he’s been so open to the public.”

Castiel happily runs on about new designs he’s been coming up with while raising twin baby girls, and Charlie makes a quip about not giving everything away.

His little brother looks so radiant, too, that Gabriel wonders what made Castiel change his mind about the press.

Gabriel’s smartphone rings, and he scrambles to find his phone in his jacket. It is on its fifth ring when he snorts at the caller ID.

“Now he speaks,” Gabriel answers wryly, walking to his bedroom and shutting the door.

“Charlie caught me on a good day,” Castiel explains gruffly. “Then I realized I haven’t called you in a long time. I’m sorry.”

“You have two babies to care for. Don’t worry about me,” Gabriel says, sitting on his unmade bed.

“How have you been, Gabe?”

Gabriel wants to tell his little brother so badly, but he doesn’t want to say something when there might be nothing to say. At least not yet.

“Good, Cassie.” He uses an aversion tactic. “Charlotte came out to me a couple weeks ago.”

“WHAT?!” Castiel’s very masculine voice becomes so girlish that he squeals. “THIS IS SO AMAZING!” Castiel exclaims some words in Italian.

Gabriel laughs so much he flops his back against the blanket. His laughter partially muffles into a pillow. “Calm down there, dude. Let her tell you, then reply calmly. Okay?”

“Fiiiiine!” Castiel sounds almost childish.

Gabriel smiles. “Now tell me about your baby girls.”

Avoidance tactic complete.

————

Charlotte offers her pair of earbuds. “Listen to this song.”

Gabriel furrows his brows and obliges.

————

Gabriel’s heart is in his throat when he flips through the karaoke book. It’s a selection of newer songs. Since he used to frequent this place before everything went wrong in his life, he found it updated.

It is fate that the song Charlotte made him listen to was added to the machine.

Gabriel chooses it without thinking of the repercussions. He was going to be spontaneous and lay it all out on the line. The worst that could happen is Sam would say, “nice song” and not read too much into it.

He waits his turn and sees Sam standing near a high table. He is a lone figure in a sea of couples and friend groups. 

Gabriel would normally ask Samandriel to come along, but he wants to get a specific message across tonight.

When everyone else sounds terrible and drunk, Gabriel grins and takes the stage.

He hears the instrumental and does not think. He just sings.

…Is my love too much, or is it just enough for you, for you?...

That gets the attention of nearly every table.

...Cause it’s getting late, would you like to stay?... 

He feels their eyes on him, so he shades his gaze with the microphone.

...Cause I’m bad at reading signs but I, I wanna do whatever you wanna do, if you want it too. Girl, we could cross that line…

The lights blind him if he tries to look in a certain direction, so he focuses on shadows.

...Know we’ve been friends and love only knows broken ends. Yeah, that’s what you said but girl, let me change your mind…

His voice smooths out after not singing in many years. He supposes this is why Charlotte has been so adamant on Gabriel’s happiness. He only sang if he was happy.

...Cause feelings are hard to find…

He starts to think about Sam, even though he cannot see him. That’s who the song is for, after all.

...Cause feelings are hard but I feel ‘em in my chest, a tiny war within. But when I pull you closer, girl, I can’t explain but I, I wanna do whatever you wanna do, if you want it too. Girl, we could cross that line…

“Is this the only place that serves vegetables in the whole city?” Sam asks at a salad bar.

Gabriel shrugs. “That could be true. We’re an unhealthy people.”

Sam piles his plate with various lettuces. “That’s gonna be my fallback.”

“Opening,” his brow raises, “a salad bar?”

“I’d make lots of money,” Sam quips, “especially with all these herbivores around.”

Gabriel smiles like a fool.

...Know we’ve been friends and love only knows broken ends. Yeah, that’s what you said but girl, let me change your mind…

Sam stares unblinking at the tiger shark. “I can watch Shark Week without an issue, but this is terrifying.”

Gabriel glances over his shoulder to see Meg and Charlotte observing souvenirs. “Sublime.”

“Hm?” Sam’s face glows from the blue light of the aquarium as he studies Gabriel.

“There’s a word for that,” Gabriel explains. “Sublime means awestruck terror.”

Sam smiles. “I like that.”

...Cause feelings are hard to find…

Sam laughs quietly as subway dancers do a routine on high metal bars.

Gabriel doesn’t understand why Sam finds it so amusing, but he smiles back.

...Cause feelings are hard, yeah. And I know, and I know that it hurts sometimes, that it hurts sometimes when I’m with you…

“Look over here, Charlotte!”

His daughter excitedly runs up to a fence caging a rare white tiger. She grins alongside Sam. 

“So cool!” She exclaims.

Gabriel thinks this is the day Charlotte decides to get on the Help Dad Seduce Sam Train. Gabriel just remembers how his heart twists when he sees the two of them laughing together.

...And I know, and I know that it hurts sometimes, that it hurts sometimes when I miss you…

He stares out the window on the week Sam is gone. He is pining, even though the man he was attracted to is miles and miles away.

He feels the separation acutely, even though they sometimes don’t see each other in person for several days. Being without Sam for a whole week was harder than Gabriel thought.

Charlotte reminded him that it wasn’t healthy to be so attached. He didn’t think a young girl was capable of teaching him such a profound lesson.

...And I know, and I know that it’s on your mind, that it’s on your mind when I kiss you. But I wanna do whatever you wanna do…

Sam’s handsomeness strikes Gabriel at the oddest times. The oddest by far is when Sam wins Charlotte a stuffed dog dunking hoops in a midway game. It is an ugly fuschia dog and Charlotte can barely hold it in her arms.

The shocked look on Charlotte’s face followed by the flashing rainbow lights playing across Sam’s profile makes Gabriel realize that he can be happy again.

...I wanna do whatever you wanna do, if you want it too. Girl, we could cross that line…

“What do you think?”

Gabriel gapes at the previously-blank wall in Sam’s apartment covered in framed photographs. One side was filled with childhood memories, photos with his mother and father and uncle and Dean and even one with Castiel.

Another side is photos of New York City, places they’ve been together. Gabriel and Charlotte are on his wall the most, but Samandriel, Hannah, and Dumah are there too. There is even a rare photo of Meg from their day at the aquarium in the top corner.

What does he think?

Gabriel looks down at Sam and smiles. “You should do my apartment too.”

“Sure,” Sam agrees.

...Know we’ve been friends and love only knows broken ends. Yeah, that’s what you said but girl, let me change your mind…

They do not speak until Gabriel ushers Sam up to his apartment door. All that was said atop the Empire State Building ran through both of their minds.

It is Sam who says, “I feel like I can tell you anything.”

Gabriel stops in front of the door, realizing Sam was looking down at him shyly. His gaze is a little off to the side, and a blush reaches his cheeks.

Sam didn’t mean to verbalize that.

But still, Gabriel says honestly, “I feel the same way.”

About a lot of things, his mind finishes. Not just about this one topic. About everything.

...Cause feelings are hard to find…

Gabriel hopes that everything changes for the better tonight. He can’t help but hope he can have a second chance that they both deserve.

...Cause feelings are hard, yeah…

Applause smacks Gabriel like a wall. He forgot there were so many people around.

Were there as many people inside this bar than when he began the song?

Gabriel smiles awkwardly and steps off the low stage. He needs to find-

Ah. 

He looks up and realizes Sam has moved closer. Much closer. If Gabriel had taken an extra step, he would have crashed into him.

Gabriel’s tiny smile is frozen on his face as Sam is shadowed in dim lights. 

Sam nudges his head, and Gabriel finds himself following. They cross the room with clapping patrons, but none of their faces register; they blur in comparison to the tall man guiding him away.

Sam pushes open the door, and they go out into the sidewalk. The dim lamps and outdoor store lights are the only thing allowing them to see in the purple night. Nightlife bustles around them, mostly young partygoers, and Sam stops when they reach a nearby park.

He turns once their shoes crunch the grass, a bench and massive tree a few paces away. Gabriel nearly bumps into his chest again.

“Sam?” Gabriel’s voice comes out shockingly even. “What’s up?”

Sam’s hand nearly encompasses Gabriel’s entire cheek. Gabriel exhales shallowly as his chin follows the motion of Sam’s thumb. His eyes are tipped upwards, and his breath catches.

Sam finds himself underneath the brilliant lighting of the moon and a lamp. His eyes glitter in purple blueness, and his hesitant mouth is bathed in gold.

“Nice song,” Sam murmurs.

Gabriel’s heart drops, and his gaze darts away.

That’s when Sam asks it. “Do you feel the way I do?” 

The question is a whisper against the still air, and Gabriel swears he doesn’t hear it.

His mouth parts and he looks back at Sam. His lips form a line and he blushes.

“What would you say,” Gabriel asks reedily, “if I did?”

He could hear the exact second Sam stops breathing. He could sense the exact second the words register and turn in his mind.

Sam brings his hand forward, and Gabriel steps closer. Sam’s thumb swipes across Gabriel’s jawline, and his lips part.

Words do not fall from his mouth. It seems that Sam has nothing to say.

He leans down instead, and Gabriel watches as Sam’s face gets achingly close to his own. Heat radiates off of Sam despite the chilly weather, enough to pass through their layers of clothing.

Sam’s expression tips down until Gabriel can only feel his warmth. His eyes close and a breath caresses his nose. He leans his head back an inkling more to align with Sam, placing his hands on Sam’s black peacoat, palming his sides.

A free hand draws Gabriel ever closer, and Sam’s lips finally, finally press against his, so gentle and dizzying that his mind collapses into a tailspin.

He rises to his tiptoes to further the light press, Sam’s hand curling around his cheek like a soft pillow.

Sam nudges his head away from Gabriel after a few beats. Gabriel bats his eyelashes and comes back to full awareness.

Sam’s lashes hang low on his cheeks, and he is awestruck.

Gabriel smiles sheepishly, and Sam smiles back.

“Those are some nice words,” Gabriel murmurs.

Sam laughs.


	9. I Have A Hot Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel flicks on the light, moving as quietly as possible, shutting the apartment door lightly. He doesn’t want to wake anyone.
> 
> But when the light reveals everyone awake sitting on the couch, he crashes back into the door.
> 
> “What the fuck, you guys!” Gabriel hisses.

Reality sets in when Sam insists on escorting Gabriel to his apartment building.

He allows himself to fly for those moments after the kiss, to dream and hope and wonder. It is an intoxicating high, but he is no fool. 

When they enter the lobby, Gabriel stops him as he reaches the elevator. His heart in his throat, he stands in front of Sam and watches him halt. His head tips down in confusion.

Gabriel says, “I need you to know that my daughter is my-”

“Top priority,” Sam finishes for him, smiling easily. “I know.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “You don’t. This is serious, Sam. You need to be completely okay with the fact that you can’t have all of me.”

Sam furrows his brows and waits patiently.

Gabriel sighs and explains, “imagine my heart is divided into uneven pieces. Three-fourths of that heart is Charlotte’s, and hers alone. The rest of it is for everyone else. Cas, Samandriel, Dumah, Hannah, Balthazar, Meg, Charlie, Iris, my parents. Everyone. And now you.”

Sam observes him contemplatively, eyes shining and mouth half-quirked upwards.

His voice comes out soft. “I’ll take whatever sliver I can get.”

Gabriel’s cheeks burn as his chest fills with warmth. He didn’t think Sam would be a romantic, but...okay.

Gabriel bites back a smile and teases, “you’re annoying.”

Sam smiles wider, his hand capturing Gabriel’s cheek again. Gabriel is trapped looking up, and Sam hums into his mouth. Gabriel’s heart beats slow, and Sam’s body heat is better than any blanket in the world.

Sam pulls back lightly and asks, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Gabriel breathes shallowly and nods.

Sam removes his hand from Gabriel’s cheek, the absence of warmth making room for cold air. Gabriel blinks and watches Sam leave with a soft smile on his face.

And are his cheeks a little pinker?

Gabriel waits for the lobby doors to close before he voices a squeal indecent for a man his age.

————

Gabriel flicks on the light, moving as quietly as possible, shutting the apartment door lightly. He doesn’t want to wake anyone.

But when the light reveals everyone awake sitting on the couch, he crashes back into the door.

“What the fuck, you guys!” Gabriel hisses.

Charlotte says, “language, Dad.”

Gabriel breathes deeply and leans against the closed door. “You should be asleep, missy.”

Charlotte crosses her arms. “Sorry not sorry.”

“Anything you wanna tell us?” Hannah pries, Samandriel studying Gabriel closely while Dumah arches a brow.

Gabriel’s blush has nowhere to hide. “This is...this is terribly invasive!” His voice comes out squeaky. “I went out with Sam. So what?”

“So,” Samandriel says, “you sang. Willingly. At a karaoke bar.”

“And?” Gabriel looks away, shrinking a little against the door.

“Gabe,” Dumah says, “what happened?”

Gabriel sighs and pushes away from the door. “Oh,” he shrugs, “nothing much, really. Just my dreams came true.”

Charlotte squeaks. “Dad, you’re blushing.”

Gabriel clears his throat in embarrassment. “I’m going to sleep.”

He makes to leave an uncomfortable situation, but he is stopped by everyone rising from the couch. They stand in a single line in front of his bedroom door, Charlotte in the middle.

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “Real childish, everyone.”

Charlotte is suddenly tossing her arms around his neck. Gabriel catches her middle as she goes in for a full hug.

Gabriel frowns over her shoulder. “What’s going on right now?”

“I’m okay with it, Dad,” Charlotte murmurs. “You can tell me. And all of us. What happened?”

Gabriel swallows a lump in his throat. His face curls into his daughter’s shoulder, a side braid tickling his cheek.

“We kissed,” he whispers.

Charlotte gasps, pulling back with a grin on her face. “Ooh! Dad! Is it everything you were hoping for?”

She hugs him tighter, and he shyly glances away from other expressions.

“I-I guess it was,” Gabriel admits quietly.

Charlotte says, “I’m happy you’re happy. Now I’ll let you go.”

Her arms stay around his neck, and Gabriel blinks.

“Uh...when?”

“Just a minute.”

“Okay.” Gabriel chuckles nervously.

She finally leans away a moment later and murmurs, “night, Dad.”

Gabriel smiles. “Night, Char.”

Charlotte skips away as if she were a young girl again, and her door shuts.

Gabriel looks down, and Samandriel asks, “why is your tail tucked between your legs?”

He blinks at his best friend in shock.

“It’s fine, Gabe.” Samandriel snorts out a laugh. “Not like you just signed your death warrant.”

Gabriel smiles bitterly. “I suppose I should thank you all.”

“You’re welcome,” Dumah sings.

“Anytime you need me to take care of Char to go on a date,” Hannah says, “I promise you it’s okay to ask.”

Gabriel nods. “Okay. Thank you.” He admits, “I’m glad I have all of you.”

Samandriel wraps his arms around Gabriel, and he laughs as Hannah and Dumah join in.

Gabriel chuckles. “This is the weirdest group hug ever.”

They break away with snickers. “Good night.”

They all go to their respective areas, and Gabriel enters his own bedroom with a smile.

————————————————————

Sam awakes to his smartphone ringing. His arm flops out from under the covers, searching the nightstand without opening his eyes. He feels the rectangular device in his palm, bringing it to his cheek. He turns on his side and answers the phone without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Gabriel says hesitantly, “is this too clingy for you?”

Sam laughs. “I’m glad you’re the first voice I’m hearing today.”

“Aw,” Gabriel teases, “you won’t be saying that every day. I nag.”

“Good to know,” Sam murmurs, a swell of affection settling in his chest and seeping into his tone.

Gabriel Novak is...unlike anyone in the world.

“So I called because,” Gabriel sighs, “Charlotte insists on inviting you to her school’s art auction today.”

Sam lays on his back, opening his eyes to the blank ceiling. “She’s an artist too? Not just a dancer?”

“She dabbles,” Gabriel says nonchalantly, but Sam could sense the pride in his child.

“That’s cool,” Sam says genuinely, “I’ll be there. Of course.”

Gabriel does not speak through static.

“Gabe?” Sam asks.

“Sorry. Uh,” Gabriel’s voice softens, “thanks for doing this. I thought our first date would be better.”

Sam sits up in bed. “It’s a perfectly fine first date, Gabe. I meant what I said last night. I’m okay being second.”

And he truly is. If Gabriel continues to give Sam that warm fuzzy feeling in his chest, it was well worth it.

“Okay. Thank you.” Gabriel clears his throat awkwardly. “I’ll swing by later on the way to Char’s school.”

“Okay,” Sam agrees.

“Did I wake you?” Gabriel asks concernedly. “I just realized you sound different.”

“It’s fine,” Sam placates.

Gabriel swears in Italian. “Oh God. I’m sorry! I should’ve let you sleep a little longer!”

“Gabe,” Sam chuckles, “calm down. I’m alright.”

“Sure?” Gabriel exhales. “I’m sorry.”

“Honey,” Sam soothes, “waking up to you isn’t the worst experience I’ve ever had.”

There is more static.

Gabriel murmurs, “you’ve never called me honey.”

Sam flushes with heat. “Heh. Spoke too soon.”

“No,” Gabriel replies, “I like it. And believe me, speaking too soon is my specialty.”

Sam laughs. “We’re both pretty bad at this, huh?”

“Definitely. I’m the farthest from chill you can get,” Gabriel says. “Okay, I’ll let you go,” he decides abruptly. “See you soon.”

“See ya later.”

Sam snorts when he hangs up the phone. Gabriel is far too endearing.

He leaves the bed and decides to get ready.

————

Sam knows he has a problem when he nearly tears his closet apart. Shirts and pants are scattered all over his bedroom, some dangling off his mattress while others puddle on the floor.

None of these clothes are right!

His smartphone rings, and he scrambles for it on his nightstand. Still in a towel, he answers after clearing his throat. “Hey.”

“Sammy,” Dean asks, “how are you?”

“Fine,” Sam clips. “Why?”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“I guess,” Sam mutters noncommittally.

“Are you having one of your SPD moments?” Dean asks softly.

Sam gulps and frowns at the mess he created. “Maybe. How’d you know?”

“Your voice,” Dean replies, “and I have Dad powers now.”

Sam sighs deeply. “I can’t pick out an outfit, Dean. There’s something wrong with all of them.”

“Is it the fabric or the tags?”

“Fabric,” Sam answers.

“Where’s the ultrasoft cotton?”

“Haven’t washed it.”

“Wear it anyway,” Dean orders.

Dean’s commanding tone spurs Sam to procure the shirt and sweatpants from the dirty laundry basket. “Okay, hang on.”

Sam pulls on the shirt and pants, dumping the towel in the basket. 

He picks up his phone from the bedspread and breathes. “Thanks. That’s better.”

“Now what’s going on?” Dean asks seriously. “That doesn’t happen very often.”

“I’m just nervous,” Sam says dismissively.

“On a Sunday? It’s not a work day.”

“For Monday,” Sam fibs. “Big day an’ all that.”

If Dean knows Sam is lying, he doesn’t say. “Don’t freak yourself out. You always do great. Always.”

“So why’d ya call?” Sam asks.

“I was wondering if we should go to Kansas for the next holiday,” Dean says.

“That’s months away,” Sam reminds him. “Why are you worryin’ now?”

“Cas wants to do a thing where we each take a twin and go to our respective states for Thanksgiving.” Dean pauses. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Sam smiles amusedly. “I don’t wanna get in the middle of a marital spat.”

“I’m askin’ out of curiosity,” Dean defends himself. “And it’s not a spat. It’s a minor difference of opinion. We’re too in love to fight, asshole.”

Sam chuckles. “I think it’s a super cool idea. I’m with Cas on this one. Sorry, Dean.”

Dean snorts. “Fine. He’ll be happy to hear that.” He whispers jokingly, “you suck, little brother.”

The doorbell rings, and Sam says, “oh no!”

“What?”

“Gotta go, Dean. I have a hot date.”

Sam hangs up by the time he realizes what he said.

Oh shit.

Sam shakes his head and puts his flub to the back of his mind. He smooths out his hair and shuts his bedroom door. He dashes across the living space and tugs open the front door.

Gabriel and Charlotte stand with elbows locked together. It’s so adorable that Sam smiles instantly.

“If I knew you were an artist, Char,” Sam says as he closes and locks the door behind him, “I’d have you decorate my apartment.”

“Yeah?” Charlotte nearly jumps. “You mean it?”

“We’ll see,” Sam teases in a Thor voice, “if you are worthy.”

Charlotte laughs on her father’s shoulder. “Aw, Dad. He’s a dork like Dean! I love it!”

Sam prevents his smile from faltering. The thought of them having the same taste in men…

They’ll cross that bridge when they come to it.

Gabriel has the same thought flash before his eyes, his gorgeous golden brown eyes, capturing the rise of the sun and the reflection of dirty glass at the same time-

Dammit. Sam got distracted.

-but that flash smooths out with a smile. “Hey, Sam,” Gabriel says sheepishly.

“Hi, Gabe,” Sam chimes. “I see you stole Hannah’s platform boots again.”

Gabriel laughs awkwardly. He glances down at the pain of black boots with three-inch heels covered by his jeans. “She gave them to me as a gift. Cas is gonna send her another pair.”

“Oh, good.” Sam holds back a laugh with a snort. “Are we ready?”

Gabriel and Charlotte nod.

————

Charlotte skips into Sam’s apartment and hangs her painting near framed photos of his family on the wall.

After gasping at the sheer amount of photographs from both Kansas and New York, Gabriel and Charlotte set up the picture.

The painting is of the tiger shark in the New York Aquarium. Charlotte managed to replicate the photos she took that day into a shockingly realistic painting. It took a month of painting in her art class to complete, and her teacher insisted it be displayed for auction.

Charlotte didn’t expect Sam to pay the most for it, but he won’t forget the joy on her face anytime soon.

After setting it on the wall, Charlotte catches sight of a sketchbook and gasps. “Do you draw, Sam?”

Sam shrugs. “Not lately.”

Without asking permission, Charlotte flips open the red sketchbook.

Gabriel admonishes Charlotte in Italian. “You don’t take things without asking.”

“It’s fine,” Sam says. “I don’t even remember what’s in there.”

Charlotte ooh’s. “I like this one best.”

She holds up a charcoal sketch of the house in Kansas where Sam and Dean spent their time.

“That’s my uncle’s junkyard,” Sam says.

Charlotte examines the sketch, Gabriel studying it as well. “Really?”

“I grew up there,” Sam reveals. “If Dean weren’t an actor, and I weren’t a lawyer, we’d be mechanics working there.”

“Oh, wow,” Charlotte comments.

“Gossip mags won’t tell you that about my brother,” Sam says humorously. “He was far better at it than me.”

There is a pregnant silence, but it is a comfortable one.

Charlotte closes the sketchbook and sets it back. “Okay, I’ll wait outside while you two kiss.”

Gabriel facepalms while Charlotte closes the door behind her. His eyes peek through his fingers. Sam blushes while Gabriel hides his own.

“I’m sorry about that,” Gabriel says as he shuffles closer. His hands fall to his sides while his gaze darts away shyly. “Char says what she wants.”

“As a woman should,” Sam says with a curt nod.

Gabriel looks up at him. “You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to.”

“I have to show you something first,” Sam says on a whim.

If he was going to be in a relationship with Gabriel, he should know about Sam’s final hang-up.

Gabriel pinches his brows together and Sam turns. He leads Gabriel to the only closed door in his apartment. Gabriel says nothing as Sam turns the knob.

Sam steps through the threshold and motions towards the piles of clothing scattered about his bedroom.

“Uh,” Gabriel blinks confusedly, “this is a good gift.”

Sam nearly laughs, but the weight of what he is about to do is heavy on his shoulders.

“This,” he says, “is a result of sensory processing disorder. I don’t have episodes often, but this is what happens if I do.”

Gabriel steps towards the mess. “I can’t say I understand.”

“In my case,” Sam says hesitantly, “it means that I’m hypersensitive to certain fabrics and sounds. I also occasionally don’t like to be touched.”

Gabriel frowns down at the pile, then at him. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He shifts on his feet. “So when does this happen?”

“When I’m anxious, mostly,” Sam says.

Gabriel’s eyes glisten. “This is my fault.” He worries his lip. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sam soothes, “I promise you.”

Gabriel exhales through his nose, then advances until he is close to Sam. He tips his head up and asks softly, “are you okay with being touched now?”

Sam smiles. “I am.”

Gabriel raises himself up on his platform boots and whispers, “are you okay with being kissed now?”

Sam nods, heart racing with the warmth radiating from Gabriel’s skin. They are an inch apart, and it is Sam that closes the distance.

Gabriel is the one caressing Sam’s cheek, the opposite stance from the previous night. Sam basks in the touch and kisses Gabriel lightly.

Gabriel drags his lips away before the kiss can mature, somehow knowing that Sam didn’t want anything intense. His hand smooths away from Sam’s cheek, and Sam flutters his lashes.

The way Gabriel makes his heart slow, makes him forget his troubles, makes him feel safe, is absolutely incredible.

Sam observes dazedly as Gabriel murmurs, “do you need help cleaning up?”

Sam shakes his head. “I can do it.”

Gabriel does not offer to help again, stepping back and nodding. “I’ll see you.”

Sam nods in assent.

He watches Gabriel leave his bedroom and listens to his apartment door close.


	10. About Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kid,” Bobby says gruffly, “what’s on your mind?”
> 
> That gets the chatter to quiet, save for Violet clapping her hands while on Dean’s thigh. Dean is torn between smiling at her and looking concernedly at him.
> 
> Heads turned in his direction, and Sam says, “I’m seeing someone.”
> 
> “Sam!” Mary beams. “That’s wonderful.”
> 
> “About time!” Jo exclaims.
> 
> “Well,” Dean prods, “who is it, then?”
> 
> Sam’s face falls, and his voice gets really soft. “If I tell you, you won’t like what you hear.”

Throughout Thanksgiving dinner, Sam wonders if he’ll have the guts to tell them.

The table’s contents were his mother, his uncle, his brother, baby Violet, Ellen, Jo, and himself. They were finishing their first plate and about to move in for seconds.

It is a piece of his mind distracting him, waiting to be acknowledged. He plays along with any conversations thrown his way, family members asking about New York and what it’s like being a senior partner already.

A year since he moved to the city, and he already surpassed his own expectations. There is not much to want for anymore.

‘You look happy,’ Dean observed before they sat down, his baby girl happily gurgling into his shoulder. ‘You’ve got pink in your cheeks.’

Sam looked away nervously and said, ‘ya look terrible.’

Dean laughed and nudged his arm fondly. ‘Shut up, Sammy.’

His uncle Bobby catches Sam in his own world as he scrapes the last of his mashed potatoes. 

“Kid,” Bobby says gruffly, “what’s on your mind?”

That gets the chatter to quiet, save for Violet clapping her hands while on Dean’s thigh. Dean is torn between smiling at her and looking concernedly at him.

Heads turned in his direction, and Sam says, “I’m seeing someone.”

“Sam!” Mary beams. “That’s wonderful.”

“About time!” Jo exclaims.

“Well,” Dean prods, “who is it, then?”

Sam’s face falls, and his voice gets really soft. “If I tell you, you won’t like what you hear.”

“Psh,” Ellen shakes his head, “I highly doubt it.”

“Sammy,” Dean says, “you can tell us. It’s a safe space. We won’t judge ya if you’re dating a stripper.”

Jo shoots Dean a dirty look. “He’s not dating a stripper. That’s ridiculous. Right, Sam?”

“No strippers,” Sam says weakly. 

He looks down at his empty plate and realizes he timed this perfectly. He can make a quick exit if what he predicts will happen comes to pass.

“Spit it out,” Bobby says, “we don’t have all day.”

Sam sighs loudly enough so that they can hear it. “Before I say it, I need you to know I’m not going to explain myself afterwards.”

“Well shit,” Jo says contemplatively, “that’s ominous.”

They all wait expectantly.

Sam says, “it’s Gabriel Novak.”

Everyone blinks and looks at each other in the purest form of shock Sam has ever witnessed.

The first one to speak is Dean. He ensures that his voice is soft. “You know how this looks, right?”

“Mhm,” Sam hums.

Dean exhales loudly while everyone else is too surprised to fade into the background. “You sure you don’t wanna explain yourself?”

“Maybe when you’re ready to listen,” Sam says.

That gets everyone to fall silent, even the baby.

Sam rises from his seat and leaves the dining room.

————

Sam sits inside Dean’s favorite car in Bobby’s junkyard. The engine doesn’t run anymore, so the interior is cold from that morning’s light snowfall. Sam is bundled in a fur coat, gloves, and a beanie trapping his long hair. He stares at the junkyard in blessed silence, thinking about the day before he flew to Kansas.

It is Gabriel that is bold enough to press a hotel keycard in his hand when they both decided they were ready. 

Sam hides the card in his palm, since they are in public, and he feels a slight thrill that Gabriel had the guts Sam didn’t.

Sam thinks that the contents of Gabriel’s apartment knows. They have to know. Even though he couldn’t see it in their eyes, they had to know.

They’ve been together for a few months. They’ve crossed every bridge, surpassed their hang-ups, and gotten truly comfortable with each other.

After the first failures at true intimacy, there is a day they just know the time is right. And that leads to Sam reserving a hotel room and Gabriel pressing the key in his palm later that day.

Sam remembers being so nervous in that hotel room waiting for him. He showed up first, and for a moment, his mind ran wild with everything that could go wrong.

But Gabriel was there, and it was a perfectly imperfect night.

‘Sam?’ Gabriel murmurs in their post-sex haze, curled against his side, cheek pressed into his collarbone.

Sam feels everything inside him swoon at how lovely Gabriel Novak looked at night. ‘Yes?’

There is a beat of hesitation. Sam tips his chin down to study Gabriel’s lashes flutter.

‘I’m in love with you,’ Gabriel breathes, hiding his face in Sam’s skin as if it’s a secret.

‘Good,’ Sam mumbles, ‘because I love you too.’

Gabriel tilts his head up. ‘You’re not saying it cause I did?’

Sam shakes his head. ‘I meant to say it when you shouted at a taxi in Italian during one of my SPD moments.’

Gabriel laughs, and Sam does too.

‘Fuck those taxi horns,’ Gabriel says.

Sam is jolted back to reality when the car door opens. Dean sits in the passenger’s seat.

“Cold in here,” Dean comments, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets.

Sam purses his lips and doesn’t speak.

Dean glances at Sam through the mirror above the dashboard and says, “I miss this Impala so goddamn much.”

Sam remembers how often Dean drove this old relic before the engine was irreplaceable and irreparable. Dean held a funeral for the car, he was so broken up about it.

Dean sighs when Sam does not reply. “Look, man, I’m sorry all of us are overreacting. We’re happy that you’re happy. You just have to understand how this would look to outsiders.”

Sam snorts. “If you’re worried about paparazzi damaging your reputation, just say so.”

“That’s not what this is,” Dean sighs. “I want you to have the fairytale ending you deserve. I just didn’t expect...well, for you to choose who you did.”

“I’m not explaining myself,” Sam repeats as he stares out of the windshield.

“I’m just concerned, Sammy.” Dean studies Sam’s profile. “The big brother part of me needs to know you’re protected.”

“Protection has nothing to do with it,” Sam says blankly.

Dean almost sighs in exasperation. “Happy, then. I need you to be completely happy. I need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m happy,” Sam replies, “okay?”

Dean is silent. His eyes flicker across Sam’s expression. 

He leans back in the seat and relaxes when he sees something is to his satisfaction. 

“Good,” he says gruffly. “If he does something bad, you let me know and I’ll fly there to punch his lights out. I don’t care if he’s my in-law. I’d do that for you.”

“He’s harmless,” Sam assures him.

The silence stretches, and Sam replays a statement in his mind.

He says, “you think this looks bad? Well, it looks worse for him. Think about that next time.”

Dean mouth falls open, then snaps shut. He nods and opens the car door.

Sam knows he is right.

He gets out of the Impala and wordlessly follows Dean back inside the house. Mary sets a pumpkin pie on the table, and Gabriel is not mentioned again.

————————————————————

“Man,” Balthazar says, “I don’t envy you in the slightest.”

The crowd inside a small apartment in New York City is rather large. The table, as it is being prepared, will consist of Gabriel, Charlotte, Samandriel, Hannah, Dumah, Balthazar, Meg, Charlie, Castiel, and baby Rose. 

Everyone scrambles to set down steaming food, while Balthazar catches Gabriel hiding in a corner.

Gabriel clenches his jaw at Balthazar’s remark. “Charlie and Cas are gonna be real wildcards, huh?”

Balthazar senses his fear of rejection and murmurs, “it’s gonna be fine, Gabe. Can’t blame them for seeing it rationally.”

Gabriel nods, and Balthazar ushers him to the table.

————

As the food is being cleared, it is planned to have Charlie and Castiel beside Gabriel. Baby Rose is plopped on the raggedy carpet between them, engrossed in a little piano that makes different animal noises with each key.

“I have something to tell you both,” Gabriel says, in a rush to prevent himself from overthinking.

Cas and Charlie study him, and Gabriel knows there is no getting around it.

“Not sure if you’re gonna like this,” Gabriel frowns as Rose smiles at the piano, “so this is gonna take a minute for me to...come out with it.”

“Gabe,” his little brother says, “you seem good. Is something wrong?”

“Yeah,” Charlie chimes, “definitely good.”

Gabriel watches Rose pound on keys. Babies astound him, honestly. They can just...do things without thinking.

Gabriel decides to take a page from Rose’s book. 

He blurts, “I’m dating Sam Winchester. And nothing you say can make it any less a reality.”

He looks up, and Castiel is frozen.

Charlie blinks. She is operating on pure shock alone. “Dean’s brother? That Sam Winchester?”

“Yup,” Gabriel says with a nod, “so that’s happening.”

Charlie blinks again, then looks at Castiel. The first sign of life Castiel shows is when he glances over at his baby to ensure she is oblivious.

Castiel then places his palms flat against each other and places a prayer against his chin. His lips part underneath his fingers, eyes alight with a billion emotions at once.

“Please tell me you know how this sounds,” Castiel breathes.

Gabriel’s frown becomes a thin line. “I do.”

“Can I say it out loud?” Charlie blurts. “Sorry, I just...I need to process. Okay.”

The following words are exactly what Gabriel thought the moment he was attracted to Sam.

“You’re dating Cas’s husband’s little brother, your in-law, who’s six years younger than you, who’s supremely attractive and a smart lawyer, if I recall correctly, while you are a single father with a fourteen-year-old daughter, who’s just gotten over the death of his wife, who’s holding this family together by a thread as an accountant.” Charlie observes him with wide eyes. “Do you see how cougar-y that looks?”

Gabriel hums. “I sure do. I thought that too.”

“Okay,” Charlie exhales, “so I’m not a complete bitch. Okay. Now that we got this processing in order,” she glances at her best friend, “how are you doing, Cas?”

“Gabe,” Cas sighs, “you’ve put me in an impossible position.”

Gabriel deflates. 

Charlie shoots Cas a look. “Don’t make him feel worse.”

Cas plops his hands in his lap, eyes fixed to Gabriel. “But,” he emphasizes, “I will be fine with being in this impossible position,” he pauses, “if he makes you happy.”

Gabriel perks up a little. “I suppose he’ll do.”

Cas does not smile like he normally would. “I need you to be serious.”

“I am,” Gabriel says concisely.

Castiel sees the truth in his eyes and says, “well good. About time you were happy.”

The relief rushes through Gabriel’s bloodstream, and he smiles. Charlie is back to her usual radiance, and Castiel picks up his babbling little girl.

————

Gabriel murmurs a lullaby in Italian as he bounces Rose in his arms. He stands near the nook underneath the window, stars shining through the smog. 

Even though Castiel is talking on his smartphone far enough away, the conversation can still be heard.

“I didn’t see this coming either, Dean,” Cas sighs.

“I wanted a calm and quiet year,” Dean says exasperatedly.

“Come on,” Cas murmurs, “it’s not so bad. I haven’t seen my brother this content in forever.”

“Mine too,” Dean admits. “This is still just so…”

“Yeah,” Cas says.

“Anyway,” Dean sighs, “how’s my lovely husband and baby girl doin’?”

Gabriel drowns out the sweet talk and continues humming to Rose in place of a snicker.

When Cas hangs up, he whispers, “I’m surprised you still got it.”

Gabriel smiles down at a sleeping Rose. “You bet I do.”

————————————————————

None of this is Gabriel or Sam’s idea. In fact, it is a complete and utter surprise. Like a pop quiz, but even worse.

A pop test.

No.

A pop final exam.

Gabriel and Sam bring back a small Christmas tree for the apartment with Charlotte in tow. Being a proper teenager, she merely laughs as the two adults struggle to right the tree.

“Okay, so left,” Sam says.

Gabriel shoots him a look. “You mean right.”

“The other left,” Sam corrects.

Gabriel rolls his eyes and asks, “did you crash into the corner yet?”

“No. Hang on. Step forward.”

“Okay. Almost there.”

“Another step.”

“How about three?”

“Alright. Ready.”

“Countdown?”

“Three.” Gabriel pushes forward with little warning.

Sam laughs loudly as his back touches the corner. “Okay, I’m there.”

“I’m dropping it. This time I’ll countdown.”

“Lemme guess.”

“Three,” they say in unison.

Gabriel and Sam set down the tree in the adjacent corner from the door. The other side of the room is taken up by the empty kitchen.

Wait...empty kitchen?

“Okay,” Sam claps his hands to brush away pine, “we somehow did this.”

“With no help,” Gabriel huffs, righting his posture while Sam steps away from the small tree. “Why didn’t anyone help?”

He realizes too late that Charlotte stopped laughing a minute ago.

He turns, and he freezes.

Sam sees it a beat later, and his knee jerk reaction is to say, “uhhhhh.”

Gabriel absorbs the image slowly. 

Every single person in Gabriel and Sam’s respective families, from all across the country, are currently in the living room. Castiel, Charlie, Samandriel, Hannah, Dumah, Balthazar, Meg, Dean, Mary, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlotte, the twins Rose and Violet, and even Charlie’s fiancé Dorothy.

Everyone.

And it is too much.

Gabriel shoots Sam a look to distract his churning mind. “Real articulate. Good job.”

Both men were completely blindsided by this surprise attack. Sam reacts by shutting down, and Gabriel smiles his way through it.

“Well,” Gabriel chimes, “it’s good to see everyone again. Sorry the apartment is such a mess. It’s what happens during the holidays.” He flushes in embarrassment. “And all the time,” he says honestly.

“Gabe,” Sam hisses.

“Yeah?” Gabriel asks Sam concernedly.

“They’re not moving,” Sam whispers.

Gabriel studies Sam’s profile to shield his blush. “It would seem we’re being analyzed.”

Sam faces Gabriel fully. “What?”

“Analyzed,” Gabriel repeats curtly. “It’ll be over in a minute.”

“I can’t stand here for a minute,” Sam practically whines, his discomfort starting to show.

Charlotte is suddenly between them, crossing her arms. She is ready to make a remark, something that will probably anger all the near strangers there.

So Gabriel breaks away from the momentary spell Sam put him under and orders, “not now, Char.”

Charlotte huffs in disappointment and splays out her arms. They act as a barrier between the group and the couple.

The arms drop a few beats after the barrier is erected, and Gabriel’s heart swells.

He thanks her every day for being such a good daughter and accepting Sam into their lives. Not every child is as extraordinary as Charlotte Novak.

Charlotte glides away while shooting disapproving looks at gawkers.

Gabriel glances back at Sam, and his expression is as sour as Charlotte’s. In fact, their expressions are so similar that Gabriel nearly faints.

Sam crosses his arms. “Are ya done?”

The group comes to life. Dean and Cas each hold a twin and watch the couple curiously. Mary smiles at Sam, and Bobby has an eyebrow raised. Ellen and Jo observe the scene amusedly. Charlie and Dorothy smile at Gabriel and Sam, then at each other. The rest of the family studies the couple with indifference, having grown used to their behavior over the past months.

Mary speaks first. “We are.”

Gabriel and Sam are swept up in excitable chatter. They take it as the bridge of acceptance being crossed.

The lawyer and the accountant. Why not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
